Megyn Kelly Was Only Joking! Santa Isn’t White!

“By the way, I also did say Jesus was white. As I’ve learned in the past two days, that is far from settled.”

– 43 years old Megyn Kelly who has a degree from Syracuse and a JD in law, not knowing that a man born 2000 years ago in the Middle East didn’t have blond hair and blue eyes.

According to Megyn Kelly, society must be blamed for not getting her ‘joke’ last week that the mythical Santa Claus is white because they are ‘race baiters’. And why did everyone pile on when there’s so much genuine racism in society? Because, according to Megyn, they are jealous of the all powerful Fox News.

“Humor is part of what we try to bring to this show,” said Kelly during a segment on her show on Friday night. “But sometimes that’s lost on the humorless. Queue the firestorm of controversy over my declaring Santa’s skin color.”

Kelly then went on to play several clips of commentators and media figures ripping into her.

“This would be funny if it were not so telling about our society,” she said afterwards. “In particular the knee jerk instinct by so many to race bait and to assume the worst in people, especially people employed by the very powerful Fox News Channel”

Referencing the article written by Aisha Harris in Slate that argues Santa “shouldn’t be a white man anymore”, Kelly asserted that her motivations were in no way racially based, but instead stemmed from Hollywood’s depiction of Father Christmas in the movies.

“Contrary to what my critics posited, neither my statement nor Harris’s, I’m sure was motivated by any racial fear or loathing,” she said. “In fact it was something far less sinister. A lifetime of exposure to the very same, quote, commercials, mall casting calls and movies Harris references in her piece from “Miracle on 34th Street” to the Thanksgiving Day Parade to the national Christmas tree lighting, we continually see St. Nick as a white man in modern day America. Should that change?”

If you’re unclear whether the Santa being white thing was, or wasn’t a joke, don’t worry, Kelly doesn’t seem to know either. For reference, here’s her original quote joke:

For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white, but this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa. But Santa is what he is, and just so you know, we’re just debating this because someone wrote about it.

Because of course children are acutely aware of racial stereotyping and socio political humor….

Apparently what we can deduce though is that everyone else is racist and people hate Fox News.

“For me, the fact that an offhand jest I made during a segment about whether Santa should be replaced by a penguin has now become a national firestorm says two things,” she went on. “Race is still an incredibly volatile issue in this country and FOX News and yours truly are big targets for many people.”

Pity the plight of poor rich white people working for multi national corporations…

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.