No Megyn, Jesus Was Not White and ‘Santa’ Did Not Exist

Santa Claus, also known as Saint NicholasFather ChristmasKris Kringle and simply “Santa“, is a fantasy figure with legendarymythicalhistorical and folkloricorigins who, in many western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children on the night beforeChristmas, December 24.

Wikipedia entry on Santa Claus

Fox News host Megyn Kelly discussed a Slate article on her show last night that argued that Santa Claus should no longer be portrayed as a white man. The sharp tongued blonde also asserted that “Jesus was a white man too”.

“By the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white but this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa,” said Kelly. “Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change.”

If Megyn means that Santa was definitely white in the way that Superman could definitely fly, and only Christopher Reeves could play Clark Kent, then she certainly has a point. Personally, I like to think of Santa Claus as a Samoan looking chap, who delivers presents in a vehicle like this:

But Goddammit, this can’t be true because white people invented him, and white people rule the world!!!

Which brings us to Megyn’s comments on Jesus. “Jesus was a white man, too,” she said. “He was a historical figure. That’s a verifiable fact — as is Santa. I just want the kids watching to know that.”

Other than the fact that his real name was ‘Yeshua’ and he almost certainly looked like a modern day Palestinian (if he actually existed in the first place), Megyn is absolutely right! Why? Because white people stole the story of Jesus invented him, and white people rule the world!!!

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.