Since being hired to write full time for The Daily Banter, I spend a fair amount of my workday sitting across from DB head honcho Ben Cohen. After I finally got over hearing a charming British accent and falling all to pieces every time he spoke, I began to notice a consistent theme popping up in his water-cooler observations: Joe Rogan is a genius.
Yes he is.
Ben proceeded to send me countless links to interviews and podcasts of Rogan’s that showed just what an intelligent, thoughtful, and hilarious man he really is (apparently, he’s also a stud at jujitsu). I know I can’t be the only one who was ignorant about his non-ignorance, so I’ve put together…
The 10 Best Quotes That Prove Joe Rogan Is Smarter Than You Thought:
1. “If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”
2. “The balance to life is kale cakes and cupcakes”
3. “If you attach your mind to any ideology, you’re going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you’re gonna stay on that road because you are attached to an ideology. It could be a terrible road, but you stick with it regardless of rational thinking.”
4. “The only way to be happy is to make others happy. The only way to fulfill your true purpose in this life is to learn from all your mistakes and project that information to others and enrich their lives. Whether it’s through your children, through your art, or through your friendships. Life is energy. The more positive energy you’re involved with, the happier you’ll feel and the closer you’ll be to the true path. We are here to help each other evolve, and we the people alive today are at the cutting edge of human thinking and human behavior. As you get better in life, you enable the people around you to get better as well.”
5. “No one ever tells you that all the success in the world will leave you a miserable wreck of a person if you stab your brothers and sisters in the back in your attempt to reach victory. No one ever tells you that all the money in the world ain’t worth shit if no one gives a fuck about you and you have no friends. The quicker we all realize that we’ve been taught how to live life by people that were operating on the momentum of an ignorant past, the quicker we can move to a global ethic of community that doesn’t value invented borders or the monopolization of natural resources, but rather the goal of a happier more loving humanity.”
6. “We live in a time where we’re seeing corporations acting as remorseless, profit seeking monsters with each human part required to keep it moving feeling free of guilt because of the diffusion of responsibility that comes with being a single piece in a huge machine. Too many people have the attitude that this is the only way to do big business. That’s a pile of weak bullshit, and this generation may be one of the first generations that has the information available to make that distinction and stop that flawed model from being acceptable.”
7. “You’re talking about acting… you’re not saving the world, you’re not time traveling, you didn’t invent a nuclear weapons, you didn’t invent a faster internet. It isn’t like you came up with ‘5g’. You played a gangster in a movie, and you were good at it. Thankyou. thankyou for distracting me for an hour and a half, because that’s all the fuck you did, okay? You made me sit down, and I enjoyed your performance, and it made me not think about my life and I got some thrills out of it. It was very exciting and enjoyable to follow along. That’s it. That’s all you did. You didn’t fucking change the world, you’re not awesome, you’re just good at pretending.”
8. “It’s so stupid that people, in this day and age, decide what two people can’t do because of their sex. If marriage is legal, OK – and I’m not sure it should be – but if marriage is legal, why shouldn’t it be legal for gay people?….I remember thinking as an 11-year-old boy, like, ‘Wow, there’s a lot of weak-ass bitches out there posing as men’ Like, you dummy. What do you care?”
9. “The imagination is the real force behind the evolution. What imagination truly is, we think of it as “oh I can see things, I can work around problem”, but when you imagine a idea, when you imagine a product, you imagine how to design an engine for a car . Your imagination has this idea for this thing and then you build it and design it and BOOM… Its there. That thought, there was no thought of that before it existed. There weren’t people running around thinking of the car. There was no thought of it, you created this or it came to you. There’s something from nothing, something from … from what is it, the ether? Maybe its just these synapses firing in your mind. What is the signal, where is the root of this signal?”
10. “I believe that the life that we’re in right now, this existence we all participate in, might just be a station on a radio dial, an infinite radio dial. You and I, we’re on the phone and we’re on 107.1 but there’s a 105.1 right down the dial where everyone’s fucking blue with big giant black eyes, and they all move through solid objects and they don’t need water and they don’t breathe air. There may be an infinite number of worlds all around us all the time…”