Science has indeed confirmed that it’s still only Tuesday, but knowledge is power so get learned up on what’s going on:
1. Someone from New Jersey Insults People
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie blasted not only Democrats, but his fellow Republic Party members while speaking at the Wall Street Journal CEO Council, blaming the GOP for “bad decision-making and a loss of courage,” while also admitting, “Maybe I’m too simple, but maybe the strategy of defunding [the health law] by closing the government failed.” Maybe…
2. George Zimmerman Arrested…Again
The ever-honorable George Zimmerman was charged Monday with felony aggravated assault after allegedly pointing a shotgun at his girlfriend. Apparently she was holding the last bit of the Halloween candy leftovers and it made him feel threatened.
3. It’s an Even More Wonderful Life
Hollywood has decided to ruin everything we’ve ever held dear, and is working on a sequel to the the Christmas classic It’s A Wonderful Life. The movie will focus on the life grandson of James Stewart’s main character, George Bailey, and producer Bob Farnsworth says, “The storyline of the new film retains the spirit of the original – every life is important as long as you have friends.” However to keep more in line with modern times, he was specifically referring to Facebook friends. It’s all about that Klout score.
4. Barack Obama Talks to the Senate Like An Angry Parent
Senate Republics blocked another of President Obama’s picks to serve on a key federal court in Washington on Monday evening. In a statement after the vote, the President said, “I am deeply disappointed that Senate Republicans have once again refused to do their job and give well-qualified nominees to the federal bench the yes-or-no votes they deserve.” He’s not mad, he’s just disappointed…
New York City comedian Kyle Ayers found himself an innocent bystander during a couple’s fight and breakup on the roof of his Brooklyn apartment. Like any empathetic soul, he decided to live tweet the ordeal, and we’re all the better for it. “’Say something else about my fucking wardrobe’ – guy #roofbreakup”
6. We Can Dance When We Want To
And sometimes you just have to dance like no one is watching, even when an entire arena of Celtics fans are: