Quote of the Day: Hangover-Free Alcohol Would Mean the End of Life as We Know It

From GQ, reporting on a new kind of alcohol substitute being tested by scientists in England that would provide all of the great feelings of getting drunk without any of the hangover nastiness:

“The hangover is the unpleasant but necessary part of drinking that maintains balance in the universe. It is the red flashing light that keeps you from becoming a raging alcoholic. Imagine a world with no hangovers, where you wouldn’t live in fear of cannonballing last night’s dinner into the toilet the next morning. We’d all be drunk as loons, everyone of us, 24/7. Nothing would ever get done. Food would go unprepared, buildings would be left to crumble, streets would pile up with garbage. The world would become nothing more than one giant festering frat house. And if nothing else, what will become of the poor convenience stores, who thrive on your purchases of single-serving Advil? This is the end of days, people, enjoy them while you can.”

I don’t know. That’s the way my life is right now even with the supposed morning-after deterrent.

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.