Everyone knows someone who does Yoga. You’ll know they do Yoga because they will waste no time in telling you, then informing you (at length) about the benefits of doing Yoga. People who spend hours rolling around on the floor to Indian chanting music might be doing wonders for their physical and spiritual self, but let’s be honest – a significant number of them are incredibly annoying.
You may be one of the cool Yoga practitioners, so this list does not apply to you. Keep doing your flexibility thing and enjoy yourself. However, if you feel you may be somewhere on the annoying spectrum, please check out the list below to see whether any of the points apply to you:
1. You call yourself a ‘Yogi’. This is possibly the most pretentious thing to call yourself other than a ‘Foodie’. There are real Yogis out there, and they mostly live an ascetic lifestyles in rural India. You are not one of these people, and thus not a Yogi.
2. You post pictures of yourself doing yoga on facebook and instagram to remind everyone you are a ‘Yogi’. We get it. You do yoga and can lick your own heels. One photo will suffice.
3. You say ‘Namaste’. Most have no idea what it means (it’s a salutation/greeting with Sanskrit origins used in India), and even if you do, you’re not Indian, so don’t say it. “What’s up” or “Hi” is how we greet people in the West.
4. You are an overachiever. Overachievers are annoying anyway, so the ones who do Yoga are even worse. If you’re a 30-something year old with a high pressure, high paying job in a major capital city with a very active social life, an expensive apartment with your own espresso machine, an organic only diet, and you do yoga at 5am, you are the definition of an incredibly annoying person.
5. You give other Yogis ‘yoga hugs’ after class. This is a bit like pretending to be European and kissing people three times. Please stop doing this and just hug people normally.
6. You use Yoga to ‘center’ yourself. Usually this is done by alerting everyone else around you and saying: “Can you leave me alone? I’m trying to find my center”. That’s not very centered behavior.
7. Yoga gurus are like this:
Do NOT follow someone like this.
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.