I was tempted to title this post “Sarah Palin’s Snub of Piers Morgan Is Grotesque, Will Make the Right Come in Its Pants.” That’s actually far more fitting now that I think about it, because really these kinds of stunts from Palin are actually very easy to believe and are always carefully crafted to feed literal red meat to her audience while driving liberals into an impotent rage. Anyway, this is how Palin responded to Morgan’s latest offer to appear on his show.
The current social media feud between Morgan and Palin is a little like the tagline from Alien vs. Predator: whoever wins, we lose. But Palin posting the above picture to Facebook, like she’s taunting a fellow 15-year-old boy who dumped her, was just the beginning of the ridiculousness. (Well, it can be argued the ridiculousness actually began back in 2008, but why quibble?) Here’s the message she posted to go along with it:
Oh dear Piers, thank you so much for all your invitations to appear on your shambolic show, including the adoring message you sent. But is it still any wonder why I’ve politely responded that I’m too busy doing, um, er… pretty much anything to accept the invite? (At least I didn’t tell you to “get stuffed”.) And to all our British friends: we ask, what did your friends across the pond ever do to you to deserve your Piers?
Now first of all, given that “shambolic” is more a British term than American, and Palin’s so haplessly provincial she thinks Pretoria is a city in Illinois, you just know she had to look the word up online (that’s if she does her own social networking in the first place). Second, I probably don’t need to tell you that Morgan has already responded — on Twitter of course, because every Taylor Swift needs a John Mayer — and it merely ups the sexual tension between these two kids, assuring us that, eventually, they will in fact get back together and finally “do it.”
Seriously, just get a fucking room already, you two.
Then run a hose from your car’s tailpipe into that room and lay down for a nice nap.
Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.