Now Hear This: Jack Johnson Is David Brent

Jack Johnson is human Ambien. Technically the Hawaiian-born singer-songwriter’s stuff qualifies as modern folk, but really it’s a lot of pompous faux-esoterica, with lyrics that muse lightly on the kinds of themes that only seem deep and important to somebody who’s really high all the time and who doesn’t own a pair of shoes that aren’t flip-flops.

One of the tracks from Johnson’s new record is called Ones and Zeros, and it’s a real think piece on, man, what’s going on in the world around us and how it’s all just so heavy and, like, yeah.

Here’s a lyrical sample for you to digest:

And all the greatest of the heroes started jumping from the books

They started wearing ones and zeros

Looking more and more like crooks

They stole the sunlight from the future

Took a sip, drained half the glass, and put it back

And a lot of people like to have a feast

Not so many could stomach the killing

Lot of traffic on the streets, so who’s really doing all the drilling

Keep on filling what can never be full

My imagination has got a hold on me

There’s this vine trying to climb

Through the window into my life…

There’s this wine trying to find

Its way from the bottle into my mind

Whoa.

Anyway, while listening to Ones and Zeroes on KCRW this morning, I started to get a strange feeling: I’ve heard this before. I know these words. I know this pretentiously florid introspection, the kind that gives you douche-chills and makes you want to look away out of sheer embarrassment for the guy with the guitar and the complete lack of self-awareness.

And then it hit me: Jack Johnson is David Brent.

Read the above again, and then watch this — Ricky Gervais as David Brent doing Spaceman Came Down.

Also submitted for your approval, David Brent’s full performance to an audience of helpless co-workers on The Office.

And Jack Johnson performing, appropriately, for a bunch of preschoolers.

Dude.