The Morning Banter: Cruz and Single Moms in Diners, Baby Kanye’s Rant, and Straight Outta Suburbia

It’s Friday, which means you’ll be looking for something to do to pass the time while you’re waiting to bail out of work and start your weekend. Here’s a little reading material:

1. Dumb Waiter

A lot of really silly things were said during Ted Cruz’s 20-hour “moronathon” on the Senate floor the other day. But there was at least one very strange recurring theme — and it had to do with single mothers and what’s apparently the only job they can get.

The Huffington Post: Every Struggling Single Mom Ted Cruz Has Ever Met Apparently Works At A Diner/9.26.13

2. Go, West

Allen West is a psychopath. No, really, he’s terrifying: an unapologetic misogynist with serious anger issues, a history of violent behavior, and an affinity for irresponsible and incendiary rhetoric that’s surpassed only by his unnervingly icy demeanor (which is punctuated by sudden flashes of rage). It’s a damn good thing he’s out of Congress. Now he’s out of another job — at PJ Media, of all places — for allegedly calling a female co-worker a “Jewish American Princess” during an argument. He also, reportedly, told her to shut-up.

Gawker: Allen West Is Gone from Another Job Following Alleged Anti-Semitism/9.26.13

3. Black Skin-thin

Kanye West (no relation to Allen) is once again pissed that somebody isn’t showing him the proper respect — this time that somebody is Jimmy Kimmel — and he’s of course proving that he deserves it by ranting in all caps on Twitter.

The Hollywood Reporter: Kanye West Lashes Out Against Jimmy Kimmel on Twitter Over Spoof/9.26.13

4. Ganster Clean

You may not have obscenely wealthy white-girl privilege actually oozing out of your pores the way Miley Cyrus does, but at least you can now go to your local mall and appropriate hip-hop culture in almost the same way — all thanks to Forever 21’s line of suburbanite friendly t-shirts with old school West Coast gangsta rap slogans and images emblazoned on them. So even if you’re straight outta Westchester, you can pretend you’re straight outta Compton.

Salon: White People, You Are Not Straight Outta Compton/9.26.13

Have a good weekend, folks.

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.