Guns for the Blind: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Several years back, when I was living in New York City, I had a particularly drunken conversation at a bar with a young woman whose job was working with the blind. This seemed incredibly noble to me, certainly compared to my vulturous TV news gig, so I pressed her for information on what exactly it was that she did and what kind of successes she’d had with her students. While I’m the first one to argue that someone with a disability should be afforded every opportunity to lead a life that’s equal to that of someone without that disability, I’m still realistic. I don’t expect to be able to do every single thing that anyone else can do; people with different physical attributes, or physical restrictions, are capable of different abilities and are often incapable of others. Limitations are sometimes a fact of life. I’m all for doing everything within one’s power to overcome physical or mental obstacles, and certainly technology is always changing the playing field, but not everyone is exactly the same. Simple as that.

Maybe that’s why, eventually, this took place:

Woman at Bar: Blind people can do anything anyone else can. Name one thing someone with sight can do that a blind person can’t.

Me: See.

Woman at Bar: I’m serious.

Me: So am I. Okay — drive.

Woman at Bar: A blind person can drive.

Me: What? Let me tell you something: The first time I get into an accident and the guy who gets out of the other car is carrying a cane and wearing sunglasses, I’m shooting up an insurance agency.

It’s with that in mind that I bring you this: A debate last night on CNN between pompous ass Piers Morgan and conservative man-child Ben Ferguson over whether blind people should be allowed to carry guns. Iowa, being ahead of the curve on all things stupid, just approved a measure that would allow gun permits to the issued to the blind. As in, the completely blind.

What’s fascinating about the back-and-forth you’re about to see is that it shows the incredible lengths conservatives in this country will go to ensure that there are zero restrictions on gun ownership. Normally, the “common sense” right would look at something like this and call it liberal political correctness run thoroughly amok. Put the question of whether somebody can get their hands on a gun into the mix, though, and suddenly all bets are off. I swear, I don’t think there’s one person or type of person you could name whom conservatives would say shouldn’t under any circumstances be permitted to own and wield a gun. Kids? Not a problem. Sociopaths? Sure, why not. People who can’t freaking see what they’re shooting at? Bring it on.

Anyway, enjoy. I’m now going to go drink myself blind.

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.