Zimmerman’s Lawyer Stands His Ground

While the rest of us were gathered around our computers waiting to hear whether the new iPhone would have the ability to make toast and give hand-jobs, one man was nervously pacing back and forth praying that another Apple device couldn’t survive being smashed all to hell.

According to police, the immediate future of George Zimmerman rests in what can be recovered from the pieces of an iPad belonging to his estranged wife. Shellie Zimmerman says she used the iPad to shoot video of her husband when he came by her parents’ house yesterday, punched her father in the face, then began threatening the entire family with his beloved gun. Police say that what they discover on the device will decide whether Zimmerman will be arrested despite Shellie Zimmerman’s decision not to press charges. (Magic 8 Ball says: Not a Fucking Chance.)

Zimmerman’s lawyer and PR flack — and CNN’s newest hire — Mark O’Mara issued a statement saying that Zimmerman was in fact armed when he confronted his wife, but as you know by now that’s not against the law in Florida. In a related item, this is the last thing O’Mara plans to say on Zimmerman’s behalf in all of this, given that he’s made it clear he won’t be representing Zimmerman in any domestic dispute case. Here’s the money quote from ABC News:

O’Mara appeared to struggle with his anger at his client during Monday’s incident in which he went to Zimmerman’s house while police were still there. During a press conference later, O’Mara was asked if he had any advice for Zimmerman, and he answered, “Pay me.”

With that in mind and taking a cue from O’Mara’s own comment about Zimmerman following his rescue of a family from a flipped SUV, look for the new reality series That’s So George! coming soon to TLC (right after Here Comes Honey Boo Boo).

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.