In this week’s edition of The Daily Banter Mail Bag, Ben, Bob, and Chez discuss the latest predictions on Syria, the post-Snowden future for Greenwald and losing our virginity.
1. What do you think the chances are that a surgical strike on Syria (or several) will stay a surgical strike and won’t turn into boots on the ground for our troops, and what will President Obama do if congress votes not to attack?
Ben: This situation, at least in my opinion, has FUCKING DISASTER written all over it. I’m guessing Obama won’t do more than a surgical strike, and that won’t really do anything other than strengthen Assad. He will have then opened himself up to huge criticism from the Republicans who will argue that he didn’t plan it properly and ‘can’t finish the job’. And then what? Get rid of Assad and get some insane fundamentalist government in its place? Get back into nation building and install a deeply unpopular pro American leader? I’m hoping Congress and the public stop this nonsense and save Obama from himself. I’m really stunned he allowed himself to get stuck in this position – it’s quite unlike him.
Chez: The one concern I have is that a strike from the air won’t do a bit of good. (Actually, that’s not the only concern I have; I’m so war fatigued that I really don’t think there’s any reason strong enough for me to get behind something like this.) If that’s the case, the question then becomes ‘what next?’ To get the job done we’d have to send in ground troops and I don’t think there’s a soul from coast-to-coast — besides maybe John McCain and whether he has a soul or not is questionable — who’d support something like that. As for what Congress votes, I don’t think it matters. This thing is likely a done-deal. Again, I can’t argue with the necessity of something being done to stop Assad. But I also just can’t back another American-led conflict in the Middle East.
Bob: I really don’t have the answer to either of those questions. All I can do is to point you to this president’s previous military endeavor in Libya, which ended up being successful without a single American casualty. I can safely say, however, that there will not be “boots on the ground.”
2. When all of this NSA Snowden interest finally goes away what do you think Glenn Greenwald will write about to keep people from ignoring him?
Chez: He’ll find something. He suffers from attention deficit disorder: he can’t handle a deficit of attention. The real question, though, is what he’ll glom onto and beat to death once Evil Dictator Obama’s out of White House and if a Republican takes his place.
Bob: As long as there are drones, Greenwald will be there.
Ben: Good question. He covers the security state for the Guardian, so he’ll keep plugging that. I think he does some interesting work that is actually pretty relevant, it’s just hidden within a nasty web of personal vendettas, shoddy fact checking and his monstrous ego. Sadly, it makes him unreadable (although out of professional obligation, we will continue to do so).
3. When did each of you lose your virginity?
Bob: You’ll have to subscribe to the After Party to find out. Weirdly, the story involves the construction of a Star Trek: The Next Generation Enterprise-D model. Yes, nerds do get laid.
Chez: Who says I did?