Speech Impediment


If you need a perfect example of how the domination of the click-bait headline is really just screwing our culture and its collective intellect without Vaseline, here you go.

Over the weekend, Ashton Kutcher picked up a kind of lifetime achievement award at Nickelodeon’s “Dear God Please Send the Angel of Death to Smite Every Tween in the Country” Awards. His acceptance speech for the thing was, admittedly, pretty impressive, attempting to impart upon the crowd of screaming 13-year-old girls a little wisdom on succeeding in life through hard work, persistence, and grace.

Really, it was about four minutes of minor greatness from a guy I normally couldn’t give a crap about.

So, what most-important-revelation did the Huffington Post reduce Kutcher’s speech to?

This:

The Huffington Post: Ashton Kutcher Reveals His Real Name at Teen Choice Awards/8.12.13

I guess it could’ve been worse. He could’ve been wearing something that revealed side-boob.

Chez Pazienza was the beating heart of The Daily Banter, sadly passing away on February 25, 2017. His voice remains ever present at the Banter, and his influence as powerful as ever.