Welcome to this weeks edition of The Daily Banter mailbag!! Today, Bob, Ben, Chez and Jessica Furst discuss the latest tea party rally, the Paula Deen racism debacle and whatever “Channing Your Tatum” means.
1. So it looks like the Tea Party is back! Complete with its tricorn hats and old white people in lawn chairs. Any good ideas at all how to put it back in its place this time around?
Chez: Take the keys to the Hoveround. That’ll stop it in its tracks. If not, wait a couple of weeks and death should do the trick nicely.
Ben: The Tea Party ‘resurgence’ is about as interesting as the next season of American Idol. The format has worn out and they know it. Why? Because all the members are old angry white guys – a fast dying minority in America. The best thing everyone can do this time around is completely ignore them.
Bob: If by “back” you mean unenthusiastic and poorly-attended, yes. Yes, it’s back. Remember that photo of a McCain rally featuring a couple of old people napping? I think if we wait long enough, they’ll have to tucker out and go home.
Jessica: Frighten them with a new party, maybe called the Coffee Party. They may disintegrate.
2. Okay, was anybody REALLY surprised that Paula Deen is an awful racist? I have friends who love her and totally think she’s this wonderful friendly Southern mom-type and I’ve been trying to tell them for years that she’s really Satan. I guess I finally win.
Ben: I didn’t grow up watching Paula Deen so I don’t have much of a sense of who she is. But given the fact that she is 1. from Georgia 2. a child of segregation era 3. massively rich, it’s not a major shock that she holds some pretty unfortunate views. It’s pretty sad to read the things she’s accused of saying – they’re deeply unpleasant and she deserves a good round of media backlash for it. Should she get canned? I’m not sure – I think there’s a little bit of leeway she’s entitled to given her age, but it’s a tough sell.
Bob: She appears to represent a faction of America that’s aware of what racism is; is convinced that it’s not racist; but can’t wait to let fly with racist nonsense as soon as it thinks no one’s listening. And if you call them on it, you’re the racist for noticing. There are lots of Confederate re-enactors in this faction. They don’t get it. Paula Deen doesn’t get that African Americans dressed as slaves isn’t pretty or quaint. Believing that’s it’s an awesome thing in any way is socially retarded.
Jessica: Paula hasn’t made it over to our shores yet, so Celia I’m taking your word for it that she is in fact Satan. I’ll spread the word in the UK incase she tries to spread her nasty buttery ways over here.
Chez: I have news for you — you won a long time ago. No, I have no idea how anybody is capable of being surprised by the fact that a very rich white woman from Georgia would fetishize the antebellum South and salivate over the idea of a bunch of dapper negros catering to her every whim as she stuffs that gravitational singularity in the middle of her face. Paula Deen and racism go together like any food on the planet and butter.
3.Have any of you ever Channing’d all over anyone’s Tatum? (I hope somebody was watching Kimmel this week.)
Chez: No. I have, however, Wilfreded all over a slew of Hyde-Whites in my day.
Jessica: Because I like to keep up with all these inane, yes of course I have seen this. What troubles me is Miley. I don’t want to condemn yet another teen celebrity to go and sort themselves out, but she is on my list after Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan (though Miley’s name is only written in pencil for now).
Ben: I saw it. Channing all over someone’s Tatum is a private issue Linda. It’s like asking whether you’ve ever Georged on someone’s Bush (too much??).
In our mission to ridicule politicians, celebrities and anyone vaguely famous, we’re going to be running a quote at the end of each mailbag where you, our readers, decide who you think said something ridiculous. This week’s quote:
“Do not have sex with the extras.”
Was it Woody Allen, Ben Affleck, Zack Synder?
Answers below! (we’ll update at the end of the day!)
And the answer is….here!