Celebrities Are Important Because…

They raise money for charity just by being them.

No one can really argue against raising money for charity, can they? A good deed is a good deed, whichever way you look at it. A charity by its very definition is good.

Isn’t it?

And there are no celebrities out there who don’t want to get involved. Yes, they have millions of dollars which they could happily spend on numerous good causes. They may just hand the cash over, but what’s the fun in that?

Leonardo Di Caprio recently became the focus as the seat next to him on Richard Branson’s first Virgin Galactic Space flight was auctioned for an AIDS charity. Some bright spark paid $1.3 million for the pleasure of watching (and obviously taking a photo of) Leo throwing up in his sick-bag when the plane goes into orbit.

And now Beyonce has got in on the action with the chance to spend a day as part of her entourage. For a mere $25,000 you (yes, you, reading this right now) could be part of her style team, hanging out with her mom and you get two VIP tickets for the show as part of the deal. I’m sure for that amount of money Beyonce might say hi at some point. Bargain right?

I for one don’t have a spare million dollars hanging around, so I thought of some other charity options that were more in my price range.

  1. Throwing eggs at all of the cast of every single Real Housewife – $2 to the charity of your choice.

  2. A smiling competition with Victoria Beckham – $1 for every time you make her smile.

  3. Standing so close to John Travolta that you can without any doubt see his wig – $10 ($50 if you pull it off)

  4. Discover the point of the Jonas Brothers – $20

  5. Make Katy Perry tell you what it is she sees in John Mayer aside from STDs – $10

  6. Persuade Miley Cyrus to grow her hair and stop being weird – $15

  7. Talk to Will Smith about his questionable parenting skills with his son Jaden (aka the most pretentious kid in the world ever) – $20

  8. Find out if Miranda Kerr has a brain – $5

  9. See if there is anyone who actually enjoys Downton Abbey – $10

  10. Force the Rolling Stones to admit they have enough money and should just put their feet up and stop touring – $25