You have to give it to Glenn Beck. The bubbly Mormon conspiracy theorist has found a way to stay relevant, despite being wrong about pretty much everything. But then in his world, connecting dots don’t have to make any sense – it just has to be really, really scary to get everyone onboard.
The Boston Marathon bombing was to Beck another chapter in the inevitable demise of the United States. According to Beck, the Saudi Arabian national detained by authorities had a lot more to do with the bombing that originally suspected. Why? Because after the bombing, U.S. Customs and Border Protection’s National Targeting Center issued an event file recommending Abdul Al-Harbi be deported under section 212, 3B that indicated ‘proven terrorist activity.’
According to Beck, this is definitive proof of a gigantic conspiracy. “You don’t one day put a 212 3B charge against somebody with deportation, and then the next day take it off,” said Beck on his TV show. “It would require too much to do it.” Beck and his team at The Blaze promised to bully the government into responding to their iron clad proof that Al-Harbi was the next Osama Bin Laden. According to Beck, the governments response “will either save our country or we will be done.”
It turns out it wasn’t actually all that complicated.
When it became clear Al-Harbi had nothing to do with the bombing, he was taken off the list. At a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) asked Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano why the Saudi student was allowed a student visa if he was on a watch list. “He was not on a watchlist,” replied Napolitano. “What happened is — this student was, really when you back it out, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was never a subject. He was never even really a person of interest. Because he was being interviewed, he was at that point put on a watchlist, and then when it was quickly determined he had nothing to do with the bombing, the watch listing status was removed.”
There goes that theory. Not satisfied with the explanation though, Beck has promised to reveal more in the coming days.
Regardless of the ‘secret documents’ he and his team will no doubt be revealing, he is going to have a hard time getting the mainstream on board with whatever he comes up with. Beck’s problem is that the rest of the country doesn’t follow his special line of thinking. If only they would take random events and tie them together to draw completely arbitrary conclusions, he’d get far more traction when it comes to uncovering vast conspiracies that threaten to kill us all.
Let’s take Glenn’s logic on the Boston bombing:
Barack Obama’s father was Kenyan. There are Muslims in Kenya. Therefore Al Qaeda is in the White House.
There was a Saudi Arabian at the Boston Marathon. The Homeland Security has cleared him of all wrong doing.
Homeland Security is controlled by Obama.
Therefore the Saudi Arabian is responsible for the Boston bombing!
Surely anyone rational would see the logic in this. Why bother with fancy legal definitions or actual evidence when you can create completely new realities that must be true because you came up with it?
Poor Glenn. Still, he has time to prove everyone wrong and save the nation from its ultimate demise. If only they would listen…
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.