We get some great emails here at the Banter, but this one has got to be one of the best. According to this interested party, we’ve been featured in the ‘Alibaba trading website’ and they are interested in our ‘product’. Mrs Angnez Lutha of ‘Luthaz Groups’ from Las Vegas in a country called ‘United state’ wants to know our conditions and terms for delivery time, payment term and minimum order quantity. The email:
We’ve written back with the following:
Ben Cohen <ben@********.com>to hiral
10:50 AM (4 minutes ago)
Dear Mrs Lutha,
Thank you very much for your inquiry. We were wondering when the advertisements in the Alibaba trading website were going to pay off! It is by the grace of God that your email finds us and I hope we can endeavor to do much business! Of the products we sell, were you interested in:
1. Snarky pieces on media written by an ex CNN producer and former heroin addict
2. In depth and hilarious analysis of Republican madness from our managing editor
3. Polemics against capitalism by a young, black British guy
4. Pieces we’ve copied and pasted from serious journalism sites like ‘ProPublica’
We’ve more to offer of course, but we can only process payments on the above products for the time being. We can deliver the products via traditional mail, and we only accept cashiers checks. We have a minimum order quantity of 1017 articles, and we require that you pay for post and packaging. We are of course open to negotiate on the price!
Many thanks for your interest, and I look forward to developing a prosperous business relationship with Luthaz Group.
P.S Forgive my ignorance, but where is ‘United state’? I’m sure it is a beautiful country, but we need to know where to deliver our product!
We’ll keep you up to date as negotiations continue.
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.