Welcome to this weeks mailbag! Today, Bob, Ben and Chez discuss which politician we’d like to throw off a cliff, whether Jeff Zucker is mad enough to hire Keith Olbermann at CNN, and what we’d like to find under the Christmas tree!!!
If you could throw one politician off the proverbial cliff (fiscal, climate, whatever) who would it be and why?— Jason
Bob: That’s a really difficult question mainly because there are so many politicians who deserve such a fate. Let’s go with Sarah Palin, followed by Steve King, followed by sleestak Mitch McConnell, followed by Rick Scott. That’s four, but considering how the Republicans are in such lockstep, I envision some of the crazier members of the caucus following the first four over the ledge.
Ben: I would have to say John McCain. He’s turned into one of the most loathsome figures in Washington – a nasty right winger who turned away from his more moderate positions in order to get elected in 2008, then continued shilling for the extreme wing of his party by opposing everything Obama has tried to get done. His recent hounding of Susan Rice has been disgusting, and it has done even more to erase his reputation for being an independent, reasonable Republican. We should remember that McCain put the entire nation at danger by putting Sarah Palin on his Presidential ticket, and one would have thought he’d have the humility to disappear from public life after such a shameful display of poor judgment. But McCain’s ego won’t allow him to retreat from the limelight and he continues to bulldoze his way into issues he knows nothing about and do enormous damage to sensitive public matters. Woah…got kinda angry there….
Chez: Hmm. Being thrown off a cliff sounds good but I’ve been playing an awful lot of “Hitman: Absolution” for Xbox lately, so frankly, at the risk of being accused of employing the kind of uncivil, violent rhetoric often used by the right in political discourse, I could totally see sneaking up behind Louie Gohmert, garroting him, then using his body as a human shield and taking out, say, James Inhofe with my silenced Silverballer and eventually rigging Michele Bachmann’s chair-style hair dryer to set her head on fire. Why? Because I play too many video games. That’s what the right will say anyway because they sure as hell won’t blame the ease with which I could get a silenced Silverballer. Obviously I’m joking before anybody gets any ideas about me. Kids, violence isn’t the way — unless you’re playing “Hitman: Absolution.”
Now that former head of NBC and human manatee Jeff Zucker has been hired to run CNN, what are the chances that he brings in Keith Olbermann to do his “Countdown” show on the network?
Ben: That scenario would make for one of the most entertaining movie scripts ever. While I think Zucker has proven himself utterly incompetent, I don’t think he’s crazy or stupid enough to hire Keith Olbermann. Whilst I think Keith is brilliant, he’s completely insane and by all accounts, impossible to work with. Zucker has clearly been brought in to spice things up at the network, but Olbermann is a ticking time bomb and would take the whole operation down if he could. On second thoughts, given Zucker’s record, he might just do it.
Bob: I’ve actually predicted the Olbermann will end up on CNN. However, the Zucker move to CNN makes my prediction obsolete. Zucker knows what Olbermann is all about and unless he’s a total masochist, he probably won’t bring Olbermann to the network. Frankly, I really dig Olbermann as a broadcaster (except the self-indulgent Thurber segments) and he knows how to bring the ratings, but I also recognize that he’s still pretty toxic behind-the-scenes. You know what? I’m going to say “maybe.” If Zucker wants numbers, he might consider Olbermann, even with all of Olbermann’s considerable emotional baggage.
Chez: Slim to none. While Zucker’s a big fan of making bold statements — kind of like a terrorist — he wouldn’t be stupid enough to get near a toxic element like Olbermann. Not anymore. Unless Olbermann finally has a change of heart and gets his ego medically drained — in essence, admitting that he was wrong all along and that he’ll dedicate himself to being a better person — he’s going to be radioactive pretty much forever. It’s not that he’s a bad broadcaster — he’s brilliant. It’s just that his neuroses and narcissism aren’t worth it to anyone and bringing him into any newsroom is unfair to everyone working their asses off who’d be forced to put up with his bullshit. Olbermann’s a cancer.
What would you most like to find under the tree this Christmas?
Bob: This year, I’m just grateful to *have* a Christmas tree and a woman I love to help me decorate it.
Chez: Exactly what I’m going to find: my little girl opening her presents.
Ben: 500,000 new Daily Banter readers. Or a mountain bike.
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