Glenn Beck Doesn’t Believe in Evolution

Unsurprisingly, Glenn Beck doesn’t believe in evolution. From his radio show:

“I don’t think we came from monkeys. I think that’s ridiculous. I haven’t seen a half-monkey, half-person yet.”

This shows you the level of intellect Beck deploys in his interactions with his fans. Because Glenn Beck hasn’t seen something, it therefore cannot exist. Like gravity. Or atoms.

And here’s some news for Mr Beck. We didn’t evolve from apes. We are apes. Just highly intelligent ones with less hair.

Jesus.

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.