Kim Jong Il Uses Invisible Phones to Control Soccer Tactics

A very bizarre report from ESPN on the North Korean’s secret weapon at the World Cup:

It’s been suggested that North Korea leader Kim Jong-Il gave the coach

advice on how to reach the World Cup. Kim Jong-Su, the general secretary

of the North Korean FA, has said the ‘Dear Leader’ gave “in-depth

guidance” on how to develop the game in the country and the coach

himself has claimed he received regular tactical advice during matches,

apparently using mobile phones that are not visible to the naked eye.

Jong-Il is said to have developed the technology himself.

You would have thought that given Kim Jong Il’s ability to create technology that advanced industrial nations like Japan and the US are unable to master, he would have come up with a way of beating the Brazilians in the first round of the cup. If he had simply created shoes that made the players faster, or X ray lenses that could see through other players, North Korea would be on its way to dominating the tournament. Perhaps that is his next move and was only testing out the technology in the first game.

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.