23 Year Old Sends ‘Puerile’ Memo to Pope

Guest post by Jessica Furst

Steven Mulvain emailed the document to Downing Street and three

Whitehall

departments together with a covering letter in which he warned

recipients

that the contents “should not be shared externally” because they

included

“even the most far-fetched of ideas”.

The “ideas” in question, which included suggestions that the Pope should

launch a range of “Benedict” condoms and open an abortion clinic, have

so

offended the Vatican that senior officials there are questioning

whether the

visit should go ahead at all.

This is what happens when you don’t have enough to do right before an

election: you mess around. You pretend like you’re really important and

write things you shouldn’t. You probably sneak in to your boss’ office

and put your feet on his desk and pretend to ring his secretary to bring

you a cup of tea.

Because it turns out that a junior civil

servant, basically a baby of 23 (who guess what? Went to Oxford

university, thereby proving that whilst it may be hard to get in there,

it’s still filled with people who have next to no common sense), in the

Foreign Office decided it would be fun to think of imaginative things

for the Pope to do whilst he’s over here in Britain for his visit in

September.

These include opening an abortion clinic, dueting with

the Queen, meet Subo, apologise for the Spanish Armada and launching a

Benedict-branded condom range. Things have got so bad, the Pope may not

visit now at all.

It is often said that us Brits have no sense of

humour; that we are innately unfunny. Oh how we proved them wrong. And

it also proves that young people should never be left alone, in an

office, with important papers to write without supervision. Mum, is this

article alright?

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.