John Crace does a hilarious abbreviated version of Tony Blair’s soon to be published memoirs:
For many years I toiled at the Bar, until an Angel came unto me in a
dream and commanded me to go hence and do Good Work. Or failing that,
become a politician. So I headed north to Sedgefield – or rather my
people did – to live among the little people and preach the gospel of
the downtrodden and oppressed. “Blessed are the filthy rich,” I said in
one of my sermons to the faithful at Communion, “For they have no need
of principles, and the meek shall inherit the economic downturn.”
Blair’s religious and moral certainty about his actions in government has irked the British public more than anything else and he will forever be the target of vicious satire. The notion that invading a defenseless nation while rigging the economy to enrich bankers is ‘God’s Plan’ has made Blair a laughing stock in a country that has little time for self indulgent political posturing. His self assured, non apologetic performance at the Chilcot inquiry left no doubt that Blair has convinced himself that ‘doing what he thought was right’ justified violating international law and killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. The problem is, no one else does.
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.