The Real Reason Van Jones Was Fired

by David Glenn Cox

I hate those teaser headlines that never actually achieve what they

promise so I’ll tell you up front, I don’t know why he was fired. But

what I do know tells me it wasn’t for the reasons given to the public.

If the White House were to fire all the staffers who had called

Republicans assholes, Obama would be working alone in the White House.


a petition calling for a further investigation into 9-11? Lets see,

name your three favorite investigations done by the Bush Administration

that you felt were done admirably and above reproach. You see, it very

quickly becomes the Washington version of Clue.

Ordinarily you

ignore the asshole remark and you apologize, saying that you

misunderstood the full intent of the petition, and everyone goes back

to work. So for Mr. Jones to get fired so quickly and so stealthily it

becomes obvious that there is more to the picture than meets the eye.


Jones’s efforts as co-founder of the group, which had

led to the cancellation of over fifty advertisers on the Glenn Beck

program, is definitely fuel for the fire. So was it Mr. Murdoch in the

back alley with an innuendo? I know it wasn’t Beck himself, he’s such a

spineless jellyfish I bet he walks the other way when he sees Bill

O’Reilly in the hall. Weasels don’t fight, they whine to their boss.

Beck has been whining about Jones and taking shots at him on his show,

shots that mainly go over the heads of the attentive troglodytes in the


Considering that Jones has only been in office as an

advisor on “Green Jobs” for a few months you can eliminate malfeasance

as he hasn’t been in office long enough to hold cocaine-fueled parties

with hookers hired as day workers as was done by the Bush Forest

Service employees. Nor has he been in office long enough to pass out no

bid multi-million dollar contracts to companies where he has a monetary

investment or family members on the payroll, as was done in the Bush

administration. So if it’s not professional it must be personal, but

remember this is Washington. DUIs? Forget it, too common. If it were

something that mundane Jones would just step down to spend more time

with his family.

For generations it was common to push people

from office by threatening to expose to the public that they were gay.

Today in politics that is nonsense, you can only be removed for being

gay after running for office as a staunch anti-gay activist, and even

then you’d be removed for being a hypocrite and not for being gay.


in the closet perhaps? Incriminating photos maybe of Jones holding a

bong and partying with Mike Tyson or walking dogs with Michael Vick?

Again, this is Washington; substance abuse is as common as cracks in

the sidewalk. The numbers there would be like going to a Bush cabinet

meeting and asking, “Raise your hand if you dodged the draft with

college deferments.”

Limbaugh, two felony arrests, Cindy McCain,

felony forgery and theft, but this is Washington, debauchery’s

playground. Any accusations like that would be met with one of ours for

one of yours. So it is unlikely to be moral turpitude. Then what does

Jones say in his own defense?

“They are using lies and

distortions to distract and divide.” Thank you, Dr. Obvious. That is

the Republican game plan from day one, so the question we need to ask

is, why did it work in this case. Jones cited a “vicious smear

campaign,” which points back to Fox, and maybe the skeletons are not in

Mr. Jones’s closet but someone higher up and Mr. Jones is just being a

good soldier and falling on the grenade for a superior officer, ala

Scooter Libby.

Mr. Jones has already apologized for calling

Republicans assholes and regrets signing the petition. No drugs, no

breach of fiduciary responsibilities, no ladies or boys accosted or

deflowered, and yet Jones is out on his ass without even so much as a

ride to the bus station. Considering the weekend termination and Mr.

Jones’s hostility, it doesn’t sound like the good soldier scenario is

very likely, unless he was an unwitting good soldier and was thrown on

the grenade

Indiana Representative Mike Pence, chairman of the

House Republican conference, said Jones’s “extremist views and coarse

rhetoric have no place in this administration or the public debate. Van

Jones should resign his position and if he is unwilling to do so, the

president should demand his resignation.”

That’s just plain

funny. The previous administration had a vice president that told

elected members to “Fuck Off” on the floor of the House, and a

President that routinely shot the bird at members of the press. And

this guy gets canned for a generic remark?

The White House

announced his resignation in an e-mail early yesterday. White House

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, speaking on ABC’s “This Week,” said that

Obama thanked Jones for his service.

“Jones understood he was

going to get in the way,” Gibbs said. Jones, the author of a 2008 book,

“The Green Collar Economy,” decided “that the agenda of this president

was bigger than any one individual,” said Gibbs.

This has the

appearance of making a deal; the administration gets rid of Jones and

his attack dogs who are starting to take chunks of real meat out of

Glenn Beck’s backside and the Fox bottom line. Politics is a game but

money is serious business. Could this administration have made a deal

with the Fox devil? Would they be so naive as to think Fox could be

trusted to make a deal where you call off your dogs and we’ll call off


What other reason is left available to us? The president

has been accused of palling around with terrorists and of being a

communist, Hitler and Stalin, wanting to kill Grandma, and yet they now

throw Jones under the bus for “getting in the way?”

It smells

to high heaven, because the only real perceivable reason for Mr.

Jones’s termination was his lawful activity in calling for a boycott

against a racist moron who preaches nitwit theories and can’t even

spell the word oligarchy.

Yet now the damage is done. Was it

Rahm in the Situation Room with a knife in the back? Was it Mr. Murdoch

in the Boardroom with promises and candy?

Who now working on

the White House staff is comfortable planning to buy a home in

Washington when you watch your peers thrown to the wolves for imaginary

crimes? Who then will be willing to make principled stands when you

witness the nail that stood up and was immediately hammered down?

Hammered down either to cover an embarrassment or just cut into chum to

feed the Fox sharks.

Was it Barack in the White House with a

lack of courage? Can you shake hands with the devil and not get your

fingers burned? Can you lie down with dogs and not get fleas? For Jones

was fired and left with his nobility intact, while the administration

is left looking gamed and without a clue.

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.