by David Glenn Cox
are several reasons that I believe we won’t get adequate healthcare
reform. The first reason is that we don’t really deserve it. We let the
political class ride unicycles and juggle bowling pins, anything to
amuse the cows. Then we let the media and special interest lobbying
groups tell us what’s good for us and what’s bad for us. We rail
against what we don’t like and mumble about what we do want, and since
the bulk of us are healthy it is just a quiet murmur instead of the
torch-bearing, angry mob that it should be.
Any impartial review
of America’s for-profit healthcare system would find it to be the most
unsuccessful endeavor since the tower of Babel. They try to save the
dying while they ignore the sick. It is intentional and criminal, but
it is easier to bill an estate because dead men argue no invoice. It
has been said that the largest amount spent on health care is spent in
the last six months of life. We’ll spend half a million dollars to cut,
probe, prod and pry every orifice of an eighty-nine year old to try to
goose them along to eighty-nine and a half.
I spent a short time
working as a representative for an ambulance company. My job was to
call on nursing homes and to convince them to use us as their primary
carrier. The competition for business was fierce and the pay lucrative.
One sunny spring morning I strolled into a nursing home. There was an
elderly man sitting in the sunshine outside the front door. Trying to
be friendly I asked, “How are you this morning?”
“I’m old, damn
it; how the hell do you think I am?” But I didn’t let him rain on my
parade any. He was at least mobile and lucid, as inside, down long
corridors, were the rooms of the deteriorating elderly.
lived two to a hospital-room sized coffin, hooked up to drips and
monitors, in diapers and hospital gowns, each with a TV blaring. I was
struck by the absurdity of the blaring TVs because many were not lucid,
and even for the others the TV had no relevance to their lives
whatsoever. Wheel of Fortune or Entertainment Tonight? As absurd as
using vitamin water to waterboard prisoners in Guantanomo; perhaps it
was a comfort but probably not. It was a comfort for one and all to
exclaim, “See? They are not left alone; they have TV!” I began to
understand the man at the door.
Calling on a nursing home wasn’t
much different from calling on auto parts stores. There’s some people
checking the inventory, along with billing clerks and warehouse people.
You bring them candy or gift baskets and put your stickers on the
phones, then leave your card in the head nurse’s office. They’ve got to
like you for you to have a chance with them, so you’ve got to make
nice. But it was difficult for me to do because I didn’t feel
comfortable in a warehouse of the dead but still breathing. I left the
candy and made small talk but always felt ill at ease.
a mid-range warehouse. I had called on some that were nicer, and some
that were worse. I’ve had paramedics tell me tales of the truly awful
ones where they wrapped the dead in electric blankets so they could say
that they had only been dead an hour when it was more like three. The
nicer ones had flowers on the desk and nice wallpaper and drapes. Some
had aviaries full of colorful finches. but once past the façade the
game was the same. Poor wretches, frozen in contorted positions,
waiting for the reaper and always with that confounded TV on.
I came into work one morning the boss called me into the office.
“Look,” he said, “I’ve got two people who have called in sick today and
I’ve got a full schedule of totes. Can you do me a favor and drive the
Med-van?” Trying to be cooperative but at the same time fully
apprehensive, I explained, “I don’t mind driving but I feel very
nervous because all your people have medical training and I have none.”
picked up our first patient at the nursing home. She was an elderly
woman who couldn’t have weighed over ninety pounds. She lay on the bed
motionless and expressionless; she never made a sound as the nurses and
I lifted her by her sheet onto the gurney. I had driven the ambulances
before, shuttling them for repairs or to fill them up with gas, but
this was my first time with human cargo. We carried her twelve miles to
the doctor’s office, a palatial palace of a building with electric
doors and a tall, wide atrium. We wheeled her into the foyer and the
medic went to the front desk to get instructions.
We were told
to leave her there and they would take her back later while we returned
to the ambulance. Or next run had been canceled so we were told to just
wait there. We waited for forty-five minutes as the old woman lay on
display in the middle of the foyer on a gurney, in a dressing gown,
covered with a sheet. Finally they took her to the back; she was in and
out in twenty minutes and then we drove her back to her bed in the
warehouse. We charged $95.00 each way or $190.00 for a twenty-four mile
ride. The doctor charged considerably more, and Medicaid paid for it
My heart went out to her because of the indignity of it
all, the callousness to be left on the floor like a freight delivery.
If common sense ruled the day the doctor should have come to her. We
didn’t deliver her for treatment, but merely for a card punch. Cha
ching, easy money! The doctor wins, the ambulance company wins and the
only one shorted and inconvenienced is the patient. It wasn’t for
treatment, only to check vital signs to measure the sand left in the
hourglass. It was five o’clock when we got back so it was my last run,
but I told the boss that it really upset me to drive in traffic with
someone that frail.
The truth was it upset me to tote people who
didn’t need to be toted. Years ago I spent three days installing an
acoustical ceiling in a funeral home and it didn’t bother me nearas
much because those peoples’ troubles were over. Here I felt like I was
part the antagonist and part of a truly awful system and I could sell
it but I couldn’t perform it.
My father’s family has two known
traits, alcoholism and colon cancer. The first is so strong that it’s
made me believe that my family were indeed the original creators of the
alcoholic beverage. In my mind’s eye I see them now in the back of a
dark, smoky primordial cave with my ancestors laboring over a bubbling
cauldron as a voice asks, “Hey, Cox. Whatcha making back there?” But
the record keeping was sketchy back in those days, so I had to let the
patent fight go by the boards.
The colon cancer is just as
pronounced with a solid majority of all male relatives dying from it.
My own father watched his father and his uncles die from it, and then
one-by-one his brothers. So I asked my dad as he was getting along in
years if he had been checked. He looked me straight into the eyes the
way a father does for emphasis and he answered, “What good would that
do? They all went to the doctor for it and they all died of it just the
same. They had surgeries and chemotherapy and they all had colostomy
bags attached to their sides. And for what?” Then he looked at me with
dead seriousness and said these two words, “Not me.”
seventy-ninth birthday I got the call that my dad was in the hospital
and not expected to live.
His intestines had ruptured and he was eaten
up with cancer, but he had lived at home and on his own terms until the
day he died. He saw no use in prolonging his life by a year or even two
by sacrificing his dignity. They rushed him into emergency surgery, and
the doctor opened him up, cleaned him up, patched his ruptured
intestine, then taped up the wound and waited on the inevitable. My
stepmother tried to explain, “The doctor was so nice, your dad would
have liked him. They took him into surgery and he was out in ninety
The surgeon’s bill for the operation was over
$35,000, and along with the hospital’s bill the total was over a
hundred thousand. All to keep a dying man alive for twelve more hours,
and my dad passed away almost ten years ago. His brother had the
surgeries and the chemotherapy and was then too ill to stay at home.
When they told him they were going to put him into a nursing home he
protested, saying. “I won’t survive there twenty-four hours! I won’t
live there!” He didn’t. He had hidden medication in his luggage and
took it all, and then downed it with a warm beer.
for-profit health care system profits by prolonging life by any means
necessary. Had my father not made out a living will they would have
kept him alive on a machine until the money ran out. Because it was
profitable; not because it was the right thing to do. Death with
dignity and on our own terms is the final punctuation for a life of
dignity. Prolonging misery is a tax on the living and a tax on the
dying; one paid with coin, the other paid with suffering.
Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.