(Gainseville) — in a shocker, University Of Florida Gators coach Urban Meyer announced that the incumbent national champions would be scrapping their entire playbook and moving to a “tax cut” based offense.
“For a long time conservatives have pushed tax cuts as the solution to every problem, so I figured — why not college football? So I’m throwing out the playbook and philosophy that took us to 13-1 and a national championship and instead betting it all on tax cuts,” said Meyer.
At press time none of the new tax-cut based plays were available but star quarterback Tim Tebow has indicated to friends that he thinks that plays like the “Laffer Curve”, “Increased Deficit” and “Wealth Disparity” will make the Gators into the Grover Norquists of the SEC.
This is not the first time that an economic philosophy has been used in place of a traditional offense, though the 0-16 Detroit Lions of 2008 ultimately chose to scrap their “communism” playbook. NFL expert Joe Theismann explained that the much vaunted “superior Soviet farming techniques” regularly fared poorly versus the 3-4 defense.