William Kristol Offers Bush More Advice – More War, Preemptively Pardon Torturers, Keep Guantanamo Open

By Ben Cohen

In his latest column, Bill Kristol gives George Bush some advice on how to bolster his legacy.

Here’s a summary:

1. Remind everyone that the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were successful (yes, you heard that right)
2. Start recruiting rich kids for military duty
3. Go to war with Somalia
4. Explain why domestic spying is a good thing
5. Preemptively pardon torturers
6. Give torturers medals of freedom

Given Kristol’s track record, the list might actually be quite useful in what not to do. I don’t like covering Kristol, but as long as he’s still talking, we’ll continue to ridicule him.

Ben Cohen is the editor and founder of The Daily Banter. He lives in Washington DC where he does podcasts, teaches Martial Arts, and tries to be a good father. He would be extremely disturbed if you took him too seriously.