Sharpton celebrates victory as the Official Voice Of The Black Man
NEW YORK, NY – With over 65% of precincts reporting, Al Sharpton has been re-elected as the spokesman for black Americans.
Every four years representatives from broadcast and cable news, newspapers, local television and a few conservative bloggers go to the ballot box and vote to see who will represent “the blacks”. Harry Throckmorton, editorial director for Fox News Channel said “A lot of people say we should look for more black voices in the media, that when a racial issue comes up we shouldn’t just always run to Al Sharpton. To those people I say: I couldn’t make my tee time if I did that.”
“I’m a loudmouth who just says any old thing that comes to my head”, Sharpton told the throng of microphones that follow him 24-7, “and that means the media loves me. Sure, coming to me all the time gives many Americans a warped perspective of what all blacks believe, but hey, what am I going to do – not talk? Better God strike me down dead.”
For his second place finish in the election, Rev. Jesse Jackson will serve as Vice Official Voice Of The Black Man.