Al-Cohol: America’s #1 Terrorist

Clearly, our focus on Al-Qaeda was misinformed. The enemy is not Al-Qaeda, but Al-Cohol.

S.F. Mayor Seeks Alcohol Counseling

Mayor Gavin Newsom said Monday that he plans to seek counseling for alcohol use, following the disclosure that he had an affair with the wife of a veteran aide.

Gavin Newsom is just the latest victim of the ever-powerful Alcohol sleeper cells infesting our nation on the shelves of supermarkets, convenience stores, and liquor stores (or “packy” stores in New England) from coast-to-coast. As we stand here right now, thousands of enemy alcohol agents are infecting Americans with their demon powers.

* Mel Gibson had rum turn him into a raving anti-semite!

* Lindsay Lohan was attacked by alcohol and it disrupted her film “work”

* Al-cohol agents are at the top of the suspect list for Isaiah Washington’s latest bout of homophobia

* Miss USA turned into a skanky slut just after liquor touched her pouty lips

* Al-Cohol agents forced Mark Foley into a life of sin and lust