GOP's Defense Of Brett Kavanaugh Is Reaching New Heights Of Idiocy

Given the credibility of both Christine Ford and Deborah Ramirez, Republicans are resorting to crazier and crazier tactics to ensure Brett Kavanaugh gets to the Supreme Court.
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The Trump White House and GOP is scrambling to defend Brett Kavanaugh as new sexual assault allegations emerge against their Supreme Court nominee. The latest accusations against Kavanaugh come from a devout Catholic Yale graduate, Deborah Ramirez, who alleges the judge put his penis in her face at a college party. 

Given the credibility of both Christine Ford and Deborah Ramirez, Republicans are resorting to crazier and crazier tactics to ensure their man gets through to the highest court of the land. 

Thus far, their defense strategy seems to be based on the following five arguments: 

1. The alleged assault was 36 years ago, so it is impossible for Christine Ford to remember what happened to her.  

"Human memory is notoriously unreliable, especially over time," said memory and trauma expert Tucker Carlson. "What were you doing one drunk night in the spring of 1982? Don’t remember clearly? Of course you don’t. It’s been 36 years. Past a certain point, the past is unknowable." 

Case closed!

2. It wasn't Kavanaugh in the room with Christine Ford, but his evil doppelganger. 

This was actually a thing

3. Kavanaugh has diaries from the time of the alleged Ford assault, and didn't record the attempted rape in it, so therefore it didn't happen. 

4. If Kavanaugh did assault these women, it doesn't matter because he was a teenager at the time. 

Only black teenagers are guilty of crimes in America. Rich, white teenagers can rape and assault women, then get elected to the Supreme Court. 

5. Only men with power rape and assault women

Kellyanne Conway trotted out this defense today, telling CBS that:

“This may be the first time we ever heard of allegations against someone as a teenager who did not prey upon women thusly as he became powerful. It’s when men become powerful and think that they can use women and interrupt their careers if they want to for their own predatory proclivities that then they start preying upon women.” 

“The allegations against him are all from when he was a teenager, and then we’re supposed to believe he’s a judge of a dozen years hiring female law clerks to boot.”

Conway substantiated her claims with...well...nothing. She also said that she doesn't think "one man’s shoulders should bear decades of the Me Too movement.” Instead, he should be rewarded with a Supreme Court seat.

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