It was bound to happen sooner or later.

(WARNING: SATIRE)

A minor scandal erupted in the Trump White House over the recent hiring of Marcus Greene to the post of Assistant Secretary to the Department of Transportation. Greene is an unusual choice for the Trump administration. 

A man of Hispanic and African-American descent Asst. Sec. Green holds a Masters Degree in Supply Chain Management from MIT, and has over twenty years experience in the Transportation industry.

“We so many vacancies in this administration it’s almost impossible to keep an eye on all of them,” said White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “But apparently someone slipped this through.”

During times of a functioning federal government the White House would send nominees to the Senate who would confirm, or deny them, but hopefully create something resembling an effective, governing apparatus.

The Trump Administration has taken an altogether different approach instead using nepotism and bribery as a means in ensure effective loyalty rather than competence.


“No one really knows who this guy is. Maybe (John) Kelly does, but no one in the White House has had any interaction with him so we can’t be sure what type of job he’d do,” said one White House official who wished to remain anonymous. “I mean we’ll appoint a ham sandwich if we think it’ll toe the line, but this Greene fella is an X factor. Anything could happen.”

A West Point graduate, Mr. Greene, served as a transportation officer in both Iraq and Afghanistan before leaving to the military to work in the private sector refining supply chain and logistics for several companies among which include Wal-Mart, CostCo, Whole Foods, and Amazon.

I’ve always been highly interested in how thing work. How they move, and how communities exchange goods and service. While I’ve certainly enjoyed my time in the private sector I’d like to get back to serving my country, putting the skills I’ve acquired to good use,” Greene said after he was sworn in.

Speak of the House Ryan, and Senate Majority Leader offered no comment about Greene’s appointment. “No one is gonna take credit for this. A qualified diversity hire who got the job on merit? In this administration? This is a major black eye for the President. This is not how things are done,” said a Congressional aide who wished to remain anonymous.

Just after Greene was sworn in he reportedly “went rogue” by retaining private counsel and set about “firing” several Bush and Trump appointees in his department who “lacked the basic minimum requirements to effectively carry out the duties of their job function.”

“This is an assault at the very heart at Mr. Trump’s Presidency. The situation will be dealt with in swift fashion just as soon as the President returns to the White House,” said Kelly Anne Conway from Mar-a-Lago during one of the President’s golf trips. 

As of this writing Asst. Sec. Greene still holds his position.

Update: President Trump has reportedly fired Asst. Sec. Greene. Former Asst. Sec. Greene has said he will now explore "Any, and all legal options" at this disposal.

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