At best, this is illegal self-dealing, bordering on money laundering. At worst, it's monstrous.

Eric Trump might be the derpy one, but he seems to care about kids with cancer. Underscore "seems." While it's true that Eric, according to a bombshell report published by Forbes, has raised around $11 million for St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital, along with an additional $5 million for similar groups, new details about the Eric Trump Foundation almost entirely undermine his philanthropic efforts. 

Every year, Eric holds a charity golf tournament for his B-list celebrity pals. And because he uses facilities owned by the Trump Organization (not the foundation -- the for-profit family business), most of the donations go directly to the sick kids without any concerns about overhead. Eric told Forbes: "We get to use our assets 100 percent free of charge."

Well, good for you, Eric. Too bad you lied.

It turns out, Forbes' Dan Alexander discovered that the Trump Organization was paid "more than $1.2 million" from the Eric Trump Foundation -- far more than would be necessary for the annual single-day events at Trump National Golf Club in Westchester County, New York -- even with the high-class Hooters waitresses on hand. (Yes, really.) Tax records show that costs for the tournament skyrocketed up to $322,000 per tournament, which Forbes and golf tournament experts were unable to justify through their own independent accounting of costs for such a shin-dig. Eric told Alexander, however, that expenses were "somewhere around 100 grand." Yeah, that looks like a big, fat lie.

Making matters uglier for the Trumps, it appears as if Eric injected $100,000 from the donations his foundation received into the Trump Organization, effectively stealing money from kids with cancer and giving it to his own family to spend on whatever the hell the Trumps indulge themselves with. 

But wait, there's more.

Eric also reportedly nabbed another $500,000 in donations and, instead of giving it to cancer organizations as promised, he donated it to other Trump-related charities. So, a significant chunk of money, which donors thought was earmarked for cancer kids, was given to unrelated charities instead. Some of those charities later held "golf tournaments at Trump courses." Simply put: Eric took money from cancer kids, gave it to other charities, some of which pumped money back into the for-profit Trump Organization. 

At best, this is illegal self-dealing, bordering on money laundering. At worst, it's monstrous. Under the guise of raising money to help sick and dying children, Eric Trump just skimmed hundreds of thousands of dollars for use by his own family, ostensibly to buy more helicopters, more KFC, more hair products, and more golden columns for Trump Tower.

And what about the president's involvement? Hang onto your lunch. Alexander reported that Donald Trump demanded that Eric's charity begin paying its own way, rather than getting free-bees from the family business. In other words, Trump demanded that a not-insignificant chunk of the charity's donations -- again, earmarked for dying children -- be instead paid to the Trump Organization. 

Ian Gillule, director of marketing for the Westchester golf course, told Forbes, "I saw that Eric was getting billed. I would always say, 'I can't believe that his dad is billing him for a charitable outing.'"

Believe it. 

We don't really need more evidence that the Trumps are sociopathic monsters. But it seems that every day we're learning more and more about the mob-style financial dealings of the president. Of greater concern is the idea that Trump could be trying to set himself up as a Russian-style, Putin-esque kleptocrat here in the United States, exploiting his position to hoard as much cash as possible. And now we know that not even dying children will get in the way of that nefarious endeavor.

But I suppose we should be grateful for Eric's obvious dumbness. Every time he's in the news, it's another damaging story about Trump's finances. Perhaps Robert Mueller and the various congressional committees should subpoena Eric. The parade of derp would be breathtaking.

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