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Pittsburgh To Trump: Take Our Name Out of Your Orange Jagoff Mouth

Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto was not about to let Trump use Pittsburgh as a reason to pull out of the Paris Agreement.
Donald Trump Coal

Like a fucking moron who can't wait to see how happy Putin's going to be after this one, Donald Trump did his usual farting out of words with limited basis in reality while announcing his decision to pull out of the Paris Agreement. Because the Pro-Life Party is more concerned with immediate profits instead of leaving a planet behind for all of those kids it made everybody have. Then again, I've been told God's got it covered, so what do I know?

Anyway, from WTAE:

President Donald Trump said, "I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris," in a speech made Thursday afternoon to announce the withdrawal from the Paris climate agreement.

One small problem, Hillary Clinton won 80% of the vote in Pittsburgh. Whoops.

Turns out Trump got a little bit greedy as pussy grabbers do. Had he said, "I was elected to represent the racist, dilapidated areas outside of Pittsburgh that are so bleak, they were used as a post-apocalyptic backdrop for The Road," then no problem. Nailed it. (For the record, I'm from PA, so trust me when I say I'm being generous here.)

In the meantime, on top of reminding Trump just who won his city, Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto also announced that he would be following President Obama's lead by continuing to honor the Paris Agreement.

As for my earlier claim that Putin is going to love this latest move, don't be fooled by Russia reasserting its commitment to the agreement in the moments leading to America's withdrawal.

From The Independent:

"President (Vladimir) Putin signed this convention in Paris. Russia attaches great significance to it.

"At the same time, it goes without saying that the effectiveness of this convention is likely to be reduced without its key participants."

Of course, Russia isn't pulling out. There's no point thanks to its Day-Glo bull in a china shop knocking the teeth out of the convention and shouldering all of the blame for it. Although, as Susan Matthew at Slate points out, Trump's stupidity could prompt the rest of the world to finally get its shit together and leave America behind like a bad boyfriend.

I'd ask how all of that greatness is working out for everybody, but I'll save it for when our kids have gills and live in Waterworld because apparently thinking about the future is for cucks now. We got the message.