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F*ck It, I Want Trump To Shoot Somebody In The Middle of 5th Avenue

Let's see what happens.
Donald Trump

One of these assholes is a mark. Try and guess which one.

Last week, America watched as Donald Trump not only fired FBI Director James Comey (a.k.a. Giant Man in Real Life) for clearly bullshit reasons, but SprayTan Saddam couldn’t even be bothered to defend those bullshit reasons for an entire 48 hours, so he just flat out admitted — in tandem with Sarah Huckabee Sanders, no less — that it’s about Russia, stupid.

But why should Trump pretend he’s not compromised five ways to Sunday? Republicans barely flinched.

Naturally, the implications of that event expanded exponentially because everything is terrible. On Monday, the Washington Post reported that Trump divulged classified information to the Russian foreign minister and ambassador during his Benny Hill-style meeting last week where the White House was shocked to find out the Russians carrying cameras used those cameras to take photos of the Oval Office after they promised not to. (We’re all going to die.) But let me repeat myself just to be clear:

Trump divulged classified information to fucking Russia.

Of course, one would assume that the same throngs of Republican who demanded that Hillary Clinton die Braveheart-style over a lowercase “c” would be absolutely flipping their shit at this new development, but again, we’re living in the darkest timeline where words and actions mean nothing. And presiding over that hellscape is John McCain who’s such an unpredictable, barn-storming maverick that he’s not even bothering to criticize Trump anymore because he's old and who has time for that shit?

From The Independent:

Republican Senator Lindsey Graham, a frequent critic of Mr Trump, called the reports “troubling”. Fellow national security hawk Senator John McCain called the allegations “disturbing,” but later couched his remarks, adding: “We certainly don’t want any president to leak classified information but the president does have the right to do that.”

Cool. So we’re not even pretending to care what Trump does anymore? He can wipe Vladimir Putin’s ass with the Constitution and Republicans will just go, “LOL! Presidents, right?”

But why half-ass it? Let's take it all the way and see what happens if Trump shoots somebody in the middle of 5th Avenue like he said he could without losing voters. I genuinely want to see how Republicans will react. Because, right now, there seems to be nothing stopping Trump from running this country like a Tinpot Tangerine. I'm almost positive he could gun down a reanimated Ronald Reagan, and John McCain would be the first to say, "Well, presidents can do that," while Paul Ryan hopes Gipper 2 survives long enough to find out a bullet wound is a pre-existing condition.

I'd almost ask if that indictment Twitter keeps talking about is here yet, but I don't know why I'm pretending that will even matter. For a political party that spent eight years worried about Obama being the Anti-Christ, the GOP is practically ready to sacrifice virgins in honor of a serial adulterer who couldn't even hold a prayer breakfast without talking about his Apprentice ratings. Christ, the only thing Biblical about Trump is that he's willing to sleep with his own daughter.