Before we begin, allow me to steer you directly into the arms of Charles P. Pierce who spelled out exactly what should've happened to Sean Spicer the second his stupid blocky frame - I'm convinced the man is 85% rhombus. - stepped off the podium today after a jaw-droppingly idiotic defense of Adolf Hitler that, in nobler times, would've seen his ass tarred and feathered for being a weirdly orange affront to the Enlightenment. Just... goddammit, man. God... goddammit.
Anyway, in our continuing golden age of eschewing logic and reason for ratings, Sean Spicer was somehow allowed to be peppered with questions by Wolf Blizter in an exchange that's already being overhyped as a "grilling" because Blitzer did the bare minimum job of not letting Spicer weasel out of his words that, again, should be the first paragraph in every news article about why he was fired and/or resigned as White House press secretary for defending fucking Hitler.
Except, here's the thing, Wolf Blitzer absolutely let Sean Spicer weasel out of his words. He let that bastard right off the hook.
From The Daily Beast (emphasis mine):
“Did you not know, Sean, that there were gas chambers where the Nazis brought Jews and others?” Blitzer asked.
He was aware, Spicer insisted, before saying that he does not want to be a “distraction from the president’s decisive action in Syria and attempts he is making to destabilize the region and root out ISIS out of Syria.” Blitzer declined to question why the Trump administration would want to “destabilize the region,” a comment that could be chalked up to another incidence of misspeaking by Spicer, had he not used the same exact wording during Monday’s briefing.
“It is an important clarification,” Blitzer told Spicer, “especially to those few Holocaust survivors still out there right now [who] were obviously very shocked to hear what you had to say, but I think it is very important that you came out to formally apologize and correct it.”
Good fucking gravy, Wolf. No! No, it is not "very important" for Sean Spicer to formally apologize. It's not important at all. What is important is that a clearly incompetent asshat still represents a White House that is terrified of firing Steve Bannon because of how the alt-right (Read: Nazis) will react, and not that long ago, went out of its way to not mention Jews during a statement on Holocaust Remembrance Day. That, Wolf, is what you call a fucking pattern. And maybe the next time the White House lets you haul Sean Spicer's ass back in front of the camera when he says something monumentally stupid that future generations will point to and say, "Yup, this is why we have three eyes and a tail. This right here," try a couple of these follow-up questions I took the liberty of preparing for you:
- So, white nationalism. Lot of that going around, huh?
- Is this stupid shit coordinated with the president to distract from Russia, or does he not even know you exist and simply lucked out by hiring the human equivalent of a bear juggling dynamite?
- Do you know how anything works? Just one thing. Tell me how one thing works, Sean.
- If someone asked you to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, would you duct tape a banana to a shoe and say, "Here you go. Just how Hitler liked it?" Because I'm guessing your kids have some interesting stories. Let's bring them out!
(I have a degree in journalism. Those are on the up and up.)
Here's the original interview, and try not to throw up when Sean Spicer says "we all make mistakes." Because I don't know about you, but I've made it pretty far in life without accidentally denying the Holocaust or giving Hitler a pass to make the case for bombing a Middle Eastern country so the president could impress his daughter. Maybe I'm weird like that.
Check out the latest edition of Banter M where Bob Cesca takes Matt Taibbi to task for dropping the ball on Russia gate, Ben Cohen ruins Pepsi for being corporate douchebags, and Justin Rosario explores the dangerously diverging political ideologies in America. It’s worth every penny.