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We Are At The Mercy Of A Rudderless Yam

The President of the United States is a dangerous idiot. There's no denying it anymore.
Donald Trump

Donald Trump can’t govern.

More specifically, Donald Trump doesn’t want to govern. We’re just shy of 90 days into his administration and already he’s shown a stunning lack of depth and appreciation for the job at hand. This past week alone, he reversed course on six major policies in the span of 24 hours, and he’ll do it again just as quickly because Donald Trump doesn’t have a single fucking clue what he’s doing. Nor does he care.

On health care — one of the most convoluted systems in America — Trump openly stated that he had no idea “it could be so complicated” after spending his entire campaign promising to repeal Obamacare like it was a simple zoning issue that didn’t have millions of lives of stake. And yet, as we speak, he’s already threatening to stop making subsidy payments — But without hurting anybody! — because guess who still doesn’t know (or give a shit) how health care works: Donald Trump.

On North Korea, he boasted about trying to give the Chinese government a “great deal” if it went ahead and took care of the whole North Korea problem as if the entire country of China wasn’t uniquely aware of the situation and was just sitting around waiting for someone to say, “Hey, there’s a crazy dictator over here.” Within that same breath, Trump then boasted that he learned that the things are very complicated and it’s “not what you would think.” And yet, as we speak, the United States is poised to attack North Korea because guess who still doesn’t know (or give a shit) how foreign policy works: Donald Trump.

But that last example is indicative of an even further problem with Trump. One that became increasingly evident yesterday when military forces dropped a massive, one-step-below-a-nuclear bomb on Afghanistan, and Donald Trump clearly struggled to pretend like he knew what just happened while simultaneously tipping his hand as to why he had no fucking clue: The military has “total authorization” to do whatever it wants now. On top of that, Trump has ceded “solving the Middle East” to his son-in-law (along with a dizzying array of responsibilities) because, once again, these are things Donald Trump can’t be bothered to deal with or even take the time to learn about. And more frighteningly, he lacks the self-awareness of how bad that looks. Trump’s stumbling into complex situations like an orange Mr. Magoo and essentially going, “Ha! Who knew terrorism could be so crazy?!” then waiting for the laugh track.

Except there is no laugh track. It’s just more people dying.

In the early days of Trump taking office, he was clearly under the pull of Steve Bannon who couldn’t even wait a week before jamming through a Muslim ban that wreaked havoc and chaos in airports across the globe. It was breathtakingly incompetent in execution and scope as both of its iterations were immediately shot down in federal court. Later, Trump began being pulled by House Republicans who thought they finally found a champion in Trump’s supposedly legendary negotiating deals. Instead, the GOP watched in horror as it failed to repeal Obamacare — with control of both the House and the Senate — after Trump not only exacerbated infighting with the Freedom Caucus, but barely got involved in the process until the last minute when he hilariously sent in Steve Bannon who was almost instantly told to go fuck himself. Trump brought absolutely nothing to the table, and so for the time being, he was released by House Republicans who are presumably still waiting for the useful part of useful idiot to show up.

As of this article, Trump is sitting comfortably in Mar-a-Lago where he arrived Thursday on the heels of the closest thing to a nuke being dropped on Afghanistan and a war brewing with North Korea. He’s more than likely eating some of that delicious chocolate cake that makes him forget which country he’s bombing and playing golf before he returns to the White House on Monday and waits for someone to make him say something about whatever. Will it be Steve Bannon trying to pull Trump back towards the white nationalism that landed him in office? The military who’s enjoying unrestricted freedom to decimate anything in its path? Or his own children who are steering policy in the best interest of the Trump brand?

The scary answer: Nobody knows. We are at the mercy of a rudderless yam.