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There's a rather contentious presidential campaign underway in France. Bear with me on this. Here in the states, we like to think of France as a pleasant, idyllic land where wine, gourmet cuisine and mindblowing sex flow freely -- where college and healthcare are free, and where the biggest annual sporting event involves 120 of the world's fittest men in garish cycling regalia circumnavigating the nation on bicycles during the hottest month of the year....

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