Nobody.

It's well established by now that President Trump is far beyond a typical politician with a rather contentious relationship with the truth. Trump doesn't just lie, he seems to truly believe the lies he tells, which, if true, makes him clinically delusional. 

The flip-side to this analysis is that Trump, ever the pitch man, feels an obligation to use over-the-top superlatives when attempting to sell his defective swag. In most cases, especially these days, the product he's selling is Trump, and Trump supporters need to know they're not just getting a hack-fraud game show host turned president, they're getting literally the greatest human being ever to walk the planet.

This is when he's lying the most. It's his tell. We know Trump is lying whenever he begins a sentence with the word "nobody" or, as a variant, simply describes himself as, again, the greatest human being ever to walk the planet

Last week, when Trump presided over the most third-worldish news conference in the modern history of the presidency, he proclaimed, "I am the least anti- Semitic person that you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Number two, racism, the least racist person." Let's just ignore the fact that Trump's language here suggests that he's still a little bit racist and anti-Semitic, he's just the least anti-Semitic. That aside, words clearly have no meaning for Trump since there's no possible way to measure or verify these ridiculous brags.

It's a smarter bet to assume that Trump protests too much, revealing that he's probably more anti-Semitic and more racist than he says. At least in terms of the latter, racism, the evidence is a matter of record -- birtherism and his reoccurring notion that all black people live in the inner cities and somehow know each other, to name a just a pair of examples.

What else do we know about Trump based on his superlatives? Remember, it's safe to assume the exact opposite of what Trump says.

1. April 2016: "Nobody knows the system better than I do." 

This is completely untrue. It's doubtful Trump's read the Constitution cover-to-cover. It even more doubtful that he knows how a bill becomes a law. If it wasn't described on Fox News or at Infowars, he probably doesn't know it. Based on his first four weeks in office, he doesn't appear to know anything about the system. He didn't appear to know that "CBC" stands for "Congressional Black Caucus." He thought Obamacare included language covering children who still "live with their parents." Nope. There's language about people under 26 who can stay on their parents' insurance, but it doesn't matter whether they still live with their parents. Trump knows nothing.

2. June 2015: "There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am." 

There's nobody bigger (or better) at the military? What?

3. June 2016: "There is nobody who understands the horror of nuclear more than me." 

How did he gain this insight? We can assume based on his television viewing habits that he watched footage of Hiroshima on Fox News, thus "nobody" understands nuclear more than him. Bear in mind that Trump didn't know what the nuclear triad is, answering in a debate, "I think – I think, for me, nuclear is just the power, the devastation is very important to me." Uh-huh. And then, last week, Trump said this about uranium: "You know what uranium is, right? This thing called nuclear weapons like lots of things are done with uranium including some bad things."

4.  July 2016: "I know more about Cory [Booker] than he knows about himself." 

Uh, no.

5. October 2016: "Nobody has more respect for women than I do. Nobody. Nobody has more respect."

Clearly this is false. But it was also spoken when Trump was desperately trying to sidestep the now infamous Access Hollywood "pussy grabbing" tape. Also, notice the repeated use of "nobody." As a corollary to our rule here, the more "nobodies" he uses, the bigger the lie.

6. February 2016: "Nobody reads the Bible more than me." 

Not only does Trump not read the Bible, obviously, he simply doesn't read. In fact, there's evidence showing he has trouble reading. Nevertheless, it's important to reiterate: words have no meaning to Trump. There are perhaps tens of millions of people around the world, including scholars and theologians, who've read the Bible far more often than Trump who likely isn't very religious at all.

7. January 2017: "There is nobody that feels stronger about the intelligence community and the CIA than Donald Trump. There’s nobody." He also said about the CIA, "I love you, I respect you, there's nobody I respect more." 

Uh-huh. You know how we know he's lying a lot here? He said "nobody" three times, and, days earlier he compared the intelligence community to Nazi Germany while referring to it with scare-quotes around the word "intelligence." And the mass firings have yet to occur, but they will.

Remarkably, around 40 percent of voters still take Biff seriously despite the fact that he thinks his base is composed of cheering morons who don't know the difference. That's the real news here: Trump is taking his supporters for idiots. And perhaps they are, but it's especially cynical of Trump to exploit their stupidity and ignorance to this level, where he thinks they'll blindly accept that nobody reads the Bible more than he does, or that he knows more about Cory Booker than Cory Booker. If George W. Bush was any measure, it's unlikely Trump's base will care at all. They'll just keep on believing provably nonsensical remarks like these.

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