Skip to main content

A Worried Donald Trump Is Finally Realizing How Many "Big Enemies" America Has

But he's still too f*cking lazy to read the intelligence reports.

In a disturbing interview with Axios this week, it appears that Trump is finally having his "Oh shit!" moment that, yes, he's going to be president:

...we found the incoming president unusually subdued: lowering expectations, acknowledging some of the messy realities of governing, and walking back some of the more provocative statements he had made only days before. A top adviser told us the sober tone reflects a bumpy few days inside Trump Tower — and the realization that he's days away from truly running the nation.

Part of this sudden change in attitude is almost certainly due to the contents of the intelligence briefings that Trump has been avoiding. Now that some of that information has wormed its way past the rage goblin that controls Trump's brain, the world is a whole lot scarier than it used to be:

"I've had a lot of briefings that are very … I don't want to say 'scary,' because I'll solve the problems," he said. "But … we have some big enemies out there in this country and we have some very big enemies — very big and, in some cases, strong enemies."

He offered a reminder many critics hope he never forgets: "You also realize that you've got to get it right because a mistake would be very, very costly in so many different ways."

And yet, despite now having an inkling of how serious the responsibilities of his new job are, Trump is not only taking his first weekend as President of the United States off so he can party, he still won't read the full intelligence briefings. Because reading is hard:

Trump said he likes his briefings short, ideally one-page if it's in writing. "I like bullets or I like as little as possible. I don't need, you know, 200-page reports on something that can be handled on a page. That I can tell you."  

In the coming months, our numerous enemies are going to test us because that's what they do whenever a new president takes power. Sometimes our new leaders are up to the challenge, sometimes not. But until now, they at least made the effort to be prepared.

The danger here goes beyond a lazy and inattentive president ignoring warnings of an impending terrorist attack the way Bush did. This is far worse. We are faced with the prospect of the Commander in Chief of the world's most powerful military giving a knee-jerk reaction to a challenge based on information he gathered from Fox News or, god help us all, InfoWars.

We are so utterly screwed.

- This article kills fascists

If you want to know how The Daily Banter is planning on taking on Donald Trump and how you can help, please go here.