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Note: You may as well listen to this while you're reading. 

Remember all that talk about what Donald Trump was going to get done on "day one" of his presidency? Well, it turns out day one is relative, since he now says he's planning to take the weekend off after the exhausting grind of taking the oath of office on Friday and then celebrating into the night. In the same interview with The Times of London and Germany's Bild in which he terrified Europe and thrilled Russia by calling NATO "obsolete," Trump casually let it slip that he's not planning on coming in to work at his new job until Monday. So, three days into his presidency will actually be his "day one." He mentioned this offhandedly during a comment about securing U.S. borders.

Read it and weep, America.

"People don’t want to have other people coming in and destroying their country and you know in this country we’re gonna go very strong borders from the day I get in. One of the first orders I’m gonna sign – day one – which I will consider to be Monday as opposed to Friday or Saturday. Right? I mean my day one is gonna be Monday because I don’t want to be signing and get it mixed up with lots of celebration, but one of the first orders we’re gonna be signing is gonna be strong borders."   

Nothing about this should be shocking since one of Trump's most conspicuous characteristics is his unapologetic laziness. One of the reasons Trump answers every question with vague verbal tap dances, like he's the classroom idiot who's trying to bullshit his way through an oral report on a book he didn't read, is that he can't be bothered to learn anything pertinent to the subject. Trump famously loses interest in anything that's not himself in ten seconds flat; he doesn't read and spends most of his days reportedly watching TV; he seems convinced that his "very good brain" is all it takes to get him through any discussion, no matter how complex or dependent on detailed knowledge. Again, he's just fucking lazy, never wanting to take the time to write out a speech, study up on an important issue, or pay close attention to the inevitable responsibilities being president will require of him.

Him turning the very first weekend of his presidency into Donald Trump's Day Off may be disconcerting, given that it no doubt sets the stage for what the next few years will be like, but, again, it damn sure isn't surprising. On the plus side, the less time he spends actually doing his job, the less time he'll spend fucking up that job and destroying the country.