At some point the breathtaking, off-the-rails lunacy that is the era of Donald Trump as President of the United States will become routine. Someday we'll be used to our new funhouse mirror nation, where a puffed-up reality show buffoon who refuses intelligence briefings is the second most powerful man in the world -- after his puppet-master, Vladimir Putin -- his cabinet is stocked with know-nothing sycophants and Scott Baio's political views are relevant. Someday, unfortunately, that will happen. But that day is not today. Because today -- as of this writing, in fact -- Donald Trump is apparently meeting with Kanye West.
Yes, while it's surely impossible to fathom two unjustifiable egos the size of Trump's and Kanye's actually fitting into the same New York City high-rise, the sentient petulant grievance who calls himself Yeezus was seen entering Trump Tower just a little while ago. As you probably already know by the steady stream of enervating news flooding the airwaves and internet everyday, Trump Tower is where the garishly golden Eye of Sauron has been drawing freaks and undesirables from all across the land to come and be granted an audience with their master -- who then awards them for their loyalty with cabinet positions they don't deserve and aren't the least bit qualified for.
So far we've seen Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos, Andrew Puzder and, of course, Steve Bannon come in and kiss the ring and walk out with important roles in the Trump administration. There are still quite a few jobs Kanye could be inserted into. Secretary of Agriculture is available. That sounds amusingly like a good fit for a hip-hop star. There are still some positions in Trade open, and of course Kanye could always just be an advisor of some sort. He could really punch up Trump's enemies list and the inevitable incoherent rants aimed in its direction. Maybe that's the right gig: speechwriter. Or maybe press secretary.
Imagine that for a minute. Really, just close your eyes and picture White House Press Secretary Kanye West.
It's truly a glorious time to be alive.