Not Voting For Hillary? Go F*ck Yourself

Warning: much profanity ahead.

There are several types of people who are voluntarily not voting for Hillary Clinton and every one of them is, frankly, an asshole. For various reasons (all of them bad), these people are helping elect Donald Trump, the single worst candidate to ever get this close to the Oval Office. This cannot go unanswered

To the Republicans voting for Gary "What is Aleppo?" Johnson because he's the closest you can get to a conservative candidate: Fuck you. You let your party be taken over by low I.Q. tinfoil hat-wearing white supremacists. You don't get to wash your hands of your party's insane candidate by wasting your vote on a libertarian. Take some personal responsibility and vote for the only qualified person that can beat Trump: Hillary Clinton.

To the "liberals" voting for Gary Johnson: Fuck you. He wants to abolish the minimum wage, privatize Social Security and Medicare and repeal ALL regulations on Wall Street. If you cheered for Bernie Sanders and now you're voting for Johnson, you are not a liberal in any sense of the word. Is legal marijuana important enough to put Trump in the White House?

To the liberals/Bernie Bros/cult members voting for Jill Stein aka "Tofu Palin": Fuck you. You're so wrapped up in your rage over Bernie losing you've forgotten what you were excited about in the first place. You went from wanting to make a change for the better to wanting to burn it all to the ground in a temper tantrum.

In your rush to "stick it to The Establishment", you're stampeding over the bodies of the LGBT community, Muslims, Latinos, blacks, Native Americans, Jews, and pretty much every marginalized group in America. Remember how the slogan "Not Me. Us." made you feel? What happened to you? Is revenge that important? 

To conservatives voting for Trump because you're desperate to hold onto the Supreme Court: Fuck you, you weaselly rat bastards. You've sold your soul and betrayed all of your principles in a failed bid to hold onto power. You stand for nothing. You believe in nothing. You are hollow, bereft of ethics and morality. Was it really worth it?

To anyone voting for Trump because you're a scumbag racist looking to make lynchings a way of life again: Fuck you with a rusty chainsaw. You are a monster and you're voting for a monster. You are a stain on the soul of this great country and, like all of the monsters that inspire you, you will lose. You will be swept into the dustbin of history with all the other failures. You will not round up all the Muslims. You will not deport the Mexicans. You will not send the blacks back to Africa. You will not force the LGBT community back into the closet. You will not send the Jews to the gas chamber. You will get nothing but the harsh judgement of history and then be forgotten. 

And when you inevitably resort to domestic terrorism after losing, you will be hunted down and killed or imprisoned. There will be no glorious race war. Only a future without you and your toxic beliefs. Did you really think this was your time? 

If you're "sick of politics" and can't be bothered to vote: Fuck you the most. People have fought and died so you can have the right to vote and you can't be bothered? Actual neo-Nazis are trying to take over the country right this very second and it's too much trouble to vote for the only person that stands between you and the rise of the American Reich? We get the politicians we deserve and your apathy is how we've gotten to the point where a creature like Donald Trump is just a few votes away from the White House. That's on you and your indifference.

But you can do something about it. You can get up tomorrow morning and go vote for Hillary. Maybe you're not wild and excited about her. Maybe you think she's kind of boring. But let me ask you this: Do you want the doctor performing surgery on your brain to be exciting and incompetent or boring and one of the best in the world? 

Go vote for Hillary. Your brain will thank you.