Skip to main content

Trump and his supporters might not be children in terms of chronological age, but they sure do act like it. 

We already know that more than 10 million Americans of voting age or older have inextricably and for all time linked their votes and therefore their names with a Twitter troll dressed in clown makeup and hair who thinks it's acceptable politics to physically mock disabled people while claiming to have "the best words" -- a boast that could only be spoken out loud by either a drunk adult or a three-year-old, and just before declaring his age to be "this many" while gesturing his age using his outstretched stumpy fingers.

See, it's more or less acceptable for a political writer at The Daily Banter or Salon to go there. It's acceptable to relentlessly hector a billionaire presidential candidate like Donald Trump from my station in life. Unlike Trump's words and spastic behavior, my particular attacks today happen to possess the added benefit of being accurate. 

That said, I'm not running for President of the United States, nor am I compelled to meet its rigorous standards. Donald Trump is. So, what the fuck is his excuse? 

What's his excuse for speaking to his supporters like they're children, believing they'll blindly accept the fact that he has "the best words?" Sure, they might act like children, with their violent outbursts and religious fealty to Fox News Channel, but the more Trump treats them as such, the deeper into their poopy diapers they'll descend.

Great leaders, on the other hand, appeal to our better angels, inspiring us to improve -- intellectually, spiritually and, in many cases, physically. Great leaders serve as a touchstone for human potential. The really great ones are disciplined, curious, benevolent and merciful. And they motivate us by example to become more disciplined, curious, benevolent and merciful.

Donald Trump is exactly none of these things. 

He's a thin-skinned bully -- a herky-jerky salesman of bullshit. A marketeer of gibberish. His political ideology is rendered practically irrelevant when packaged with his stream-of-consciousness word-salad manifestos. Does it really matter that he has business experience when he goes around butchering the English language with declarations like "we'll have so much winning." Or when he stays up all night taking a verbal dump on his Twitter feed -- butthurt over being hung like a raisin? Or when he reveals the details of his plan for the national debt and it includes defrauding bond holders by paying them 50 cents on the dollar? 

This is a man-child who's taken to referring to his political enemies by grade-school recess nicknames. There's "Lyin' Ted." There's "Little Marco." There's "Crooked Hillary." Over the weekend, we were introduced to "Goofy Elizabeth." 

Today, there's a new one. Say hello to "Crazy Bernie."

Notice the 21,000 Likes and 7,300 retweets. Trump's brainwashed legion of Obama-Derangement-Syndrome suffering ghouls think his moronic nicknames are just awesome -- and perfectly acceptable and dignified enough for a man who's a 50/50 shot away from becoming leader of the free world. (Remember the last time we had a leader who loved to refer to people by idiotic nicknames like "Pooty Poot?" How'd that work out for everyone?)

This is what it's come down to. A presidential nominee who acts like Pee-Wee Herman's arch-nemesis, Francis. And his people love it. Love. It. 


The acceptance of Trump's cartoon shenanigans represents one of many disgusting side-effects of two-plus decades of Fox News and AM talk radio, which has completely desensitized conservative-leaning Americans -- mostly white, mostly ill-informed voters with cockeyed priorities who've been yanked into the conservative entertainment vortex and convinced there's an alternative set of facts designed solely for them, and the only way for those facts to be implemented as policy is to support a megalomaniacal reality show diva who has "the best words."

(As an aside -- here's another challenge for Trump supporters. Go into a job interview and tell your prospective boss that you have "the best words." Then perform a bug-eyed, mocking impression of a disabled person. See whether you get the job or if you're summarily ejected from the premises.)

Yep, nothing quite like telling our kids that in order to be a national leader, you have to engage in petty namecalling. Only then can you control the nuclear launch codes -- heaven help us all.