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First, the good polling news. Then some disturbing news to follow.

The folks at Public Policy Polling deserve an award this week for conducting a poll indicating that Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, is less popular than various unpleasant things.

It turns out Trump is less popular than lice, jury duty, root canals, the DMV, hipsters, traffic jams, used car salesmen and Nickelback.

Do you have a higher opinion of Donald Trump or:

  • 39 percent had a higher opinion of Nickelback over Trump (34 percent).
  • 47 percent had a higher opinion of used car salesmen over Trump (41 percent).
  • 47 percent had a higher opinion of traffic jams over Trump (40 percent).
  • 45 percent had a higher opinion of hipsters over Trump (38 percent).
  • 50 percent had a higher opinion of the DMV over Trump (40 percent).
  • 49 percent had a higher opinion of root canals over Trump (38 percent).
  • 57 percent had a higher opinion of jury duty over Trump (35 percent).
  • And 54 percent had a higher opinion of lice over Trump (28 percent). In other words, people prefer lice over Trump by a whopping 26 points.

Fortunately for Trump, he's still more popular than hemorrhoids (45 to 39) and cockroaches (46 to 42), though the latter appears to be within the margin of error.

And now the disturbing polling news. Trump's supporters aren't the brightest or most centered people in the world -- we all know this. But now there's polling evidence to prove it. 

Among Trump supporters:

  •   65% think President Obama is a Muslim, only 13% think he's a Christian.
  • 59% think President Obama was not born in the United States, only 23% think that he was.
  • 27% think vaccines cause autism, 45% don't think they do, another 29% are not sure.
  • 24% think Antonin Scalia was murdered, just 42% think he died naturally, another 34% are unsure.
  • 7% think Ted Cruz's father was involved in the assassination of JFK, 55% think he was not involved, another 38% are unsure.

The numbers for "unsure" are also revealing. These people don't know what the fuck to believe, and Leader Trump isn't helping to ease their confusion. They're obviously conflicted between what their limited common sense is telling them and what Trump is telling them.

But holy hell. 65 percent think Obama is a Muslim, and 59 percent think he wasn't born in the United States. Regarding that, I wonder how many of those people think Hawaii isn't a state.

Ultimately, PPP's latest numbers provide a handy thumbnail sketch of both Trump and his twisted worshipers who love him in part because he has "the best words." 

Along those lines, here's a brief and simple challenge for Trump voters: I dare you to go to work today and tell all your coworkers -- with a straight face -- that you support Trump because he "has the best words." You have to include the part about "the best words." They’ll laugh at you, and you’d totally deserve it. Seriously, I dare you to go back to your old high school and visit your favorite teacher. Tell him or her, "I like Trump. He has the best words." Your teacher will either laugh at you or feel tremendous shame at how poorly you were educated. The best words. Really?