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Marco Rubio Supports Agony Panels

It's amazing how quickly Republicans will come between you and your doctor when it helps them pander in an early state.

These days, Marco Rubio is known more for his performance art recreation of a glitching android than for being an actual U.S. senator, an act that is becoming harder and harder for him to shake. At a campaign rally in New Hampshire Monday night, Rubio actually seemed on the verge of going "blue screen of death" when he described something being rammed down his throat:

However, Marco Rubio actually took some time off from his campaign trail subroutine to do some legislating. In a press release from his senate office, Rubio boasted about co-sponsoring a bill that just so happens to touch on a hot issue for New Hampshire, one which suddenly has Republicans feeling compassion for white drug addicts:

U.S. Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) today joined Senators Kelly Ayotte (R-NH), Rob Portman (R-OH) and Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) in co-sponsoring the Comprehensive Addiction and Recovery Act (CARA), which aims to address the national epidemic of prescription opioid drug abuse and heroin use.

“The number of Americans addicted to prescription drugs and heroin has been growing at an alarming rate,” said Rubio. “It’s important to ensure that proper treatment services are there for those who are seeking help or who have fallen through the cracks, and this bill will help them get the care they deserve.

“This bill will improve treatment options, increase prevention efforts, and help law enforcement fight drug abuse,” Rubio added. “In addition to addressing this problem in our communities, the federal government must also do its part to help stop the illegal trafficking of drugs across our porous border while assisting our allies around the world in combatting the drug cartels that seek to push drugs into the U.S.”

What's interesting, though, is this provision that's buried a little deeper in the press release. Tell me if this sounds familiar:

• Create a Pain Management Best Practices Inter-Agency Task Force to help states and communities fight addiction and support individuals in recovery.

I know it's been awhile, but this is exactly the sort of thing that wingnuts used to describe as a "death panel," but instead of studying best practices for end of life care, this would put the government in charge of your pain management (it wouldn't, but that's the wingnut premise). Let's see if any Tea Party types start waving "Hands Off My Hillbilly Heroin" signs at Rubio rallies.