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Fox News Thinks Biden's Announcement Today Was Meant To Distract from Something Something Benghazi

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(Photo: Jim Watson/Getty Images)

Andrea Tantaros is by far my favorite running gag at Fox News. She's not an A-list hack like Eric Bolling or the any of the dingbat triptych on Fox & Friends, which means that she's more prone to spout angry nonsense in an effort to catch the attention of management and prove she's got the right stuff to move up to the big leagues. Because Tantaros doesn't have the practiced finesse of those whose careers are far ahead of her own, she basically comes off as not much more than a mean little troll whenever she turns the couch on Outnumbered into her own personal soapbox -- and she does so with astonishing regularity, which makes sense given that, again, she's jockeying for a promotion so hard she may as well be wearing Roger Ailes's asshole on her nose.

Tantaros is the conspiratorial-minded Foxer who has, in the past, claimed that President Obama purposely baited the Republicans to threaten impeachment so that he could turn around and do something actually worthy of impeachment later. (Don't try to make sense of it; it'll just make your head hurt.) She's also the one who spent what seemed like several minutes of her show shouting about how America was "awesome." And of course she's the one who, as a few months ago anyway, was dating Jane's Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro, which is neither here nor there -- it just speaks volumes about both of them.

With this firmly in mind, it shouldn't surprise anyone that Andrea Tantaros has a potentially earth-shaking theory about the timing of Joe Biden's announcement today that he wouldn't be running for president in 2016. Now you and I may have watched Biden speak in the Rose Garden and taken it at face value that Biden did what was best for himself and the Democrats by staying out of the race, even though he made it clear that he claimed not to like the supposedly antagonistic nature of Democratic (and of course Republican) politics these days. You and I may have assumed he meant what he simply said because we're -- to at least some extent in my case -- sane individuals. Andrea Tantaros, however, knows the truth.

Responding to Fox News host Harris Faulkner, who brought up the apparent lecture on civility Biden was indirectly giving Hillary Clinton during his address, Tantaros said this:

"But when you look at the two scandals that we're facing, that all eyes are going to be on tomorrow, Benghazi, and the email scandal -- these are administration-wide scandals. All three of them, President Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton were there that night, this is their scandal as well. This email scandal is their email scandal as well. There is no way, there is no chance, that Joe Biden, and President Obama, and their national security team did not know that she was using a private server, breaking the law. There is no way, this is why this is an administration-wide scandal that they are covering up, they are all in on this, and they are circling the wagons, I cannot stress this enough. This goes all the way to the west wing, both Benghazi, and both the email scandal, and you're watching it play out exactly today. The timing is not a coincidence!"

So there you have it. Joe Biden decided to announce that he wouldn't be running for president on this particular day because something something e-mails something something -- wait for it -- BENGHAZI! Certainly the fact that Fox News and the right in general can literally tie anything at all back to Benghazi is well known by now. You can't help but imagine these people using Benghazi as a party game, kind of like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. "I can connect Don Knotts in The Apple Dumpling Gang back to Benghazi in just three moves!"

Meanwhile, Andrea Tantaros gets to keep her stupid streak perfectly intact and Fox News manages avoid talking about how the network got the Biden story completely wrong yesterday.