Andy Borowitz for the epic win of the internet this week:

The fact that a Congress full of so many idiots exists in a modern democracy is genuinely mind blowing. More mind blowing is the fact that the head of an institution guilty of persecuting Jews, Pagans, Muslims, covering up the rape small children and has supporting some of the most vile dictators in history has to lecture American politicians on being nice to people is, well, mind blowing.