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Quote of the Day: Josh Duggar - "Someone I Can Teach"

That sound you heard was Jesus throwing up in his mouth a little.

"Someone I can teach" - Josh Duggar's alleged Ashley Madison account

The first public "victim" of the Ashley Madison hack, which compromised millions of users' data from the popular extramarital affairs website, is Josh Duggar. Given that Duggar is already famous for the child molestation scandal that caused the demise of his family's TLC show 19 Kids and Counting, there's one detail of his online account that is particularly retch-worthy:

According to the data, Josh Duggar was paying Ashley Madison in order to find an extramarital partner for the following acts:

“Conventional Sex,” Experimenting with Sex Toys,” One-Night Stands,” “Open to Experimentation,” “Gentleness,” “Good With Your Hands,” Sensual Massage,” “Extended Foreplay/Teasing,” “Bubble Bath for 2,” “Likes to Give Oral Sex,” “Likes to Receive Oral Sex,” “Someone I Can Teach,” “Someone Who Can Teach Me,” “Kissing,” “Cuddling & Hugging,” “Sharing Fantasies,” “Sex Talk.”

That sound you just heard was Jesus throwing up in his mouth a little.

Duggar hasn't confirmed the particulars of the Ashley Madison data, but he did release a statement on Thursday that seems pretty open and shut:

I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.

I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.

The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings.

As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose to our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.

I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.

Josh Duggar

"I became unfaithful to my wife?" What, like it snuck up on him?

Between this, Jared Fogle, and Ted Nugent's Megyn Kelly viewing habits, this would be a great time to invest in brain bleach futures.