You might think that given Steve Doocy's body of work on Fox News' morning tour de stupide that is Fox & Friends, he'd have no problem in the opening round of our FOXTOBERFEST Of Stupid against Greta Van Susteren -- one of the least ridiculous personalities on the channel. But Van Susteren has a very strong entry here in game five, which we'll get to in a moment.
But first, it's Doocy's turn to present some of the nonsense he's brain-farted out over the last year on air. And of course, we don't have to go back very far. Here's Doocy reacting to the nude celebrity photo hack and leak:
(Fox & Friends, September 2, 2014)
"Maybe the message is: don’t take naked pictures of yourself. Just stop…. There’s this thing called a mirror. If you want to see yourself naked, look in the mirror, don’t take a picture of yourself."
It appears Doocy thinks the point of a selfie is to look at yourself as you would by looking into a mirror, instead of sending it to another person -- in this case a significant other. Worse, he's placing some blame at the feet of the hacking victims.
What's Greta got? Well, recently she was totally flabbergasted as to why President Obama wouldn't call U.S. military action against ISIS a war. She also doesn't seem to know anything about figures of speech.
(On the Record with Greta Van Susteren, September 29, 2014)
"The president won't say that this is a war, yet during the campaign he said [Republicans] had a war on women. But he won't say there's a war on ISIS and they're beheading Americans."
There's one huge, glaring problem with Van Susteren's claim: After a good deal of searching, it appears Obama has never actually used the phrase, "war on women."
But even if Obama did, Van Susteren's deliberate obtuseness in conflating the literal and figurative meanings of "war" is such a lame attempt at making an "A-HA!" point that it's a little embarrassing.
Nonetheless, Doocy's awkward treatise on nude selfies is just too much.
GAME FIVE WINNER: Doocy
Game 2: Mike Huckabee vs. Lauren Green
Game 3: Ben Carson vs. Geraldo Rivera
Game 4: Kimberly Guilfoyle vs. Lou Dobbs