There's no way around it: The opening matchup of FOXTOBERFEST Of Stupid is the least climactic one of all 16 first round games. We all knew it. This one's a mere tuneup game for the lean, mean, malapropism machine that is number one-seeded Sarah Palin. If this were a college basketball game, eight-seeded Charles Krauthammer -- a graduate of Harvard Medical School -- would be a 30-point underdog. For her part, Palin went to five colleges in six years.
But in this competition, it's not about where the players went to school, but about what they've brought to the table -- meaning Fox News -- over the last year. Here's Krauthammer's effort, as he explains how to secure the border.
(The O'Reilly Factor, July 1, 2014)
"You start with a fence. It's very simple. People say, 'Oh, fences don't work. You make a ladder.' Well, then you build two fences, triple strand fences. San Diego did that in the mid 90's and within a decade, the illegal immigration rate at that point was reduced by 90% and people ended up going through other places like Arizona.
"If fences don't work, why is there one around the White House? If they don't work, why is it that the Israeli fence which separate Israel from the West Bank has cut down terror attacks within Israel by 99%. Fences work. Yes, there are parts of the border where you can't have a fence, fine. So you don't have it in those areas and you do heavy patrols. But there is no reason why a rich country like us cannot put a fence across -- a double fence, a triple fence and patrol it all the time. That would have a tremendous impact."
Yes, why is there a fence around that White House that totally works and has never failed to keep out unwanted intruders, while we refuse to build more wall on the southern border when that also has proven 100% effective and breach-free?
Palin counters this with her reaction of former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) losing his primary to Tea Party challenger Dave Brat:
(Hannity, June 11, 2014)
"Those who are so shocked -- they really underestimate the wisdom of the people."
For many decades now, Republicans have been running and even winning elections by constantly underestimating "the wisdom of the people," as was demonstrated by her selection as the party's vice presidential nominee in 2008. It's the old, What's the Matter With Kansas problem? You push policies that favor the wealthy and screw almost everyone else, but you get poor simpletons to vote for you by telling them the gays are taking over, or that the Democrats are coming for their guns, or that god is angry about abortion. This is the strategy that in 2008, led to nearly 60 million Americans voting to put Palin one old man's heartbeat away from the presidency.
Palin put it a fine effort here, but if she wants to beat the winner of the Mike Huckabee-Lauren Green matchup, she'll need to bring some more dynamic material to the contest. We have a feeling she might be up to the task.
GAME ONE WINNER: PALIN