Today in Ridiculously Oversensitive People Getting Outraged, we bring you the story of Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia and its annual Howl-O-Scream event. This year's festivities appeared to be no different from years past, except for one seemingly inconsequential detail: the presence of ISIS thousands of miles away.
Apparently, some people were so aghast at the theme park's inclusion of headless figures, which really are staples of any decent Halloween theme park event, that they complained to management that it was insensitive because of the recent beheadings carried out by ISIS:
Oh for the love of Ichabod Crane!
Easily the best part of the segment is when the anchor reports that Busch Gardens apologized, noting, "The park says the displays are fictional and are not intended to provide commentary on world events."
The mere existence of this statement is a testament to human stupidity. If we've truly reached this point -- the one where we can't differentiate between the very real and horrific beheadings by Islamic militants in Syria, and a theme park using fictional headless figures for its Halloween celebration in suburban Virginia -- then what a joyless, anal society we must be living in.
As bad as people actually complaining about this are, Busch Garden's decision to cave is even worse. As the company explained on its Facebook page,
Note the privileging of Western/white lives in all of this. ISIS has beheaded hundreds if not thousands of people. Virtually every day, someone is decapitated at the hands of ISIS, or other militant groups, or erstwhile U.S. ally Saudi Arabia. Why aren't these other victims being invoked here rather than just the three Westerners? Because they're Middle Eastern, and their lives just aren't on Americans' outrage radars. Plus, ISIS didn't turn those beheadings into propaganda videos, which, if you think about it, have worked spectacularly now that old white men are acting like social justice warriors seeking to expunge anything that could remotely be viewed as offensive.
Since Busch Gardens is too chicken to stick to its guns, please enjoy this clip as a substitute. It's placed here in the interest of the Halloween spirit, and of referencing Joe Pesci wherever possible: